Elizebeth Turnquist

The definition of true love

Diverged when it comes to passion

I wanted to foster the long coals

You wanted to throw wood on the fire

I don’t want passion that burns bright

That can turn into fierce anger

Or be smothered by boredom

I want admiration and respect

A long term commitment

A tinder that has to be tended

My fire won’t burn down a
forrest.

But it’ll keep us warm for many nights.

I am not a fragile flower

Or your identified patient

Until I’m dead, I’m surviving

I deserve independentance

And whatever autonomy I can have

Treating me different doesn’t help

It just makes me feel seperate

Treating me as incompetent

Just makes me like you less

Symptoms don’t conform to timelines

Your frustration just makes me worse

And all your aims to get me in line

Like your uninformed advice

And you unsolicited help

Are a barrier to your understanding

Give me the respect of personhood

Why must I remind you I’m human?

At an early age, life didn’t make sense

What I saw didn’t match what I felt

And I was taught to speak up

So I said what I thought was true

And they assured me I was wrong

That I wasn’t feeling what I felt

And I wasn’t seeing what I saw

Quickly, I learned to doubt myself

And the next time I was incongruent

I participated in my own gaslighting

Thought I didn’t know what I felt

And I didn’t know what I saw

But the contradictions kept coming

What they said and how I felt

But how I felt was consistent

And their orders often conflicted

So I chose to believe in myself

I let myself rebel againt what I’m told

The world still doesn’t make sense

But at least I trust in me.

How did this happen?

I planned to be an novelist

To write great sweeping stories

And call myself an author

But that’s not what I do

Instead, I compulsively summarize

Encapsulate my feeling in words

In this blasted dead art form

I didn’t seek poetry as a goal

But damned if I’m not a poet.

Body positive is about self-love

Body neutrality is about acceptance

Fat liberation is about equal rights

But my body is also defiant

I inflict myself on the world

Skimpy clothes showing it all off

Bright colors and bold patterns

Encouraging passing stares

Challenging disdainful looks

Not here to make you comfortable

Fat and proud and defiant.

You question why I talk about it

As if the answer isn’t clear

C’mon, just think for a second,

Imagine where I’m coming from

This lives within me everyday

Were talking about my quality of life

Restricting my daily activity of living

What kind of delusion would it be

If it wasn’t a part of my personality

Not metaphorically but literally

Keeping silent for your comfort

Doesn’t make my life easier

Since I can’t avoid it or deny it

I’m not going to hide it.

Let me be clear

I’m not making anything up

I spend my time isolating

And lying about what I feel

And avoiding the topic of health

Smiling through my discomfort

Actively minimizing my needs

So you won’t ever know

What’s going on with me

Because when I open up

I get shamed by doctors

Teated poorly by bosses

Doubted by my friends

The world isn’t welcoming

People treat me differently

There isn’t a reward for honesty

When it comes to disability.

Remove reason from accomidation

Reject the idea of undue hardship

It leads to false argument

If you already treat your staff shitty

Any request for change is a battle

Doesn’t matter who makes a request

So, this isn’t just about disability

It’s about core labor rights

Most staff have individual needs

We should have tools to do our job

Get flexibility between work and life

Accomidation is considered radical

Because a job is seen as a priveledge

What if staff were seen as valuable

Deserving of a job molding to them

A workplace finding a place for us

Instead of rejection for a bad fit

All staff deserve accomidation

When employers accomidated want

It’s not so radical to accomidate need.