Tag: poetry

• no life taken

  “I don’t want you to die.”

  I can say that honestly to anyone

  While there are people I hate

  People I don’t want near me

  People I don’t want in a role of power

  I don’t want them dead

  I willfully don’t understand 

  murder, or execution, or war

  So I certainly don’t understand

  The willingness to sacrifice

  The life of another for comfort

  It is pure narcisim to think freedom

  Is worth more than a strangers life

  The frail deserve our protection

  Culling the herd is a deplorable

  A kind human heart knows

  There is no disposable life.

  2020-04-29

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• not made for immortaility

  Youthful moments of decay

  Living in a body that betrayes

  Forces awareness of mortality

  At an early age

  Long as I have quality of life

  Then living has immense value

  And I eagerly choose to be alive

  But there was no idylic healthy youth

  To make me yearn for forever

  Long as I’m trapped in this body

  Immortality is not my fantasy.

  2020-04-24

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• not always a hero

  If the lead in great stories

  Are the nice girl and the brave guy

  And we are the lead of our own story

  How do we end up in villain roles

  As the mean girl or the shy guy

  Is it in a group that we lose sight

  Of who we are on our own

  Do we fill a role defined by the many

  Or is it simply the limit of perspective

  That convinces us we are doing right

  Even when we do great harm

  How do we miss the flaws of humanity

  How do we not see our own villany

  Is this simply the grey part of life

  Where we can’t know how we affect others

  Where the hero isn’t always in the right.

  2020-04-23

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• an hour more sleep

  I don’t wanna spend my life

  Sleep deprived and acting normal

  Coffee can’t replace sleep

  Money can’t sit in for sense of ease

  What if self care really means

  Accepting the lazy parts of self

  Sometimes a finished job is flawed

  And finished can be better than perfect

  An hour more sleep and a little less stress

  Decidining to be done in imperfection

  Maybe it’s okay to be seen as lesser

  Long as I have some more happiness.

  2020-04-21

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• I wanna believe in people

  I don’t want to lose 

  My faith in humanity

  Age has given me

  Too many examples

  That Individuals are flawed

  And groupthink dillutes us

  I want to believe its a spectrum

  That the worst and the best 

  Make the most compelling stories

  But reality lives in between

  I want to believe in all of us

  Because when today sucks

  Humanity is my hope for the future.

  2020-04-20

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Are men monsters?

  I dreamt I loved a monster

  A murderer and dictator

  Running an army of his peers

  And my lot was so pathetic

  I yearned for his abuse

  He made his terms clear

  I was a servant to his desires

  And I was not his only concubine

  At best I was sloppy seconds

  He expected my worship

  And I gave my devotion eagerly

  I woke up from this dream

  Frustrated by how real it felt

  Because I am not the first choice

  I am not conventional or subservient

  The world’s advice to get a man

  Is an affront to my feminism

  It feels like I have to love a monster

  Or learn to live without love

  I want to believe my dream is unfair

  That men and women are better

  But I’m an old, fat, and wierd lady

  No longer hopefully find my Prince.

  2020-04-17

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Coping

  This morning I felt like crying

  Seemingly out if the blue

  Except its not so random

  I’m scared and for good reason

  This is a scary time, a sick time, 

  The world shares my fear

  this once in a lifetime event

  So, I watched a sad movie and cried

  Then, when I was done with tears,

  I turned on another movie

  And it was funny, so I laughed

  I laughed out loud, without thinking

  And it felt good to just feel 

  The rollercoaster of humanity

  Late in the day, I’m grateful

  Yes, my now is complex,

  But I have my small comforts

  I’m managing and coping

  In this moment, I’m still alive.

  2020-04-12

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• unease

  This unexpected visitor

  That sneaks up the brain

  Slow drip drop in opposite

  Slithering through my calm

  Stretching over my mind

  Sicky cover of awareness

  Until I’m ill with the difference

  Upside down and inside out

  With this feeling of unease.

  2020-04-11

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• no other version of me

  It’s not common to meet a man

  Who wants me the way I am

  A crazy fat complicated

  Strong introverted woman 

  I conflict with gender roles

  I am not the ideal size or shape

  I am not here to serve or defer

  I am not fun or fancy free

  I do not bend the knee

  Sometimes I crave a patner

  But I am happy in myself

  Perhaps it is better to be alone

  Than to compromise my identity.

  2020-04-10

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Introvert pride

  There is no shame
  To my lack of social game
  Extroverts play loose
  Introverts keep it tight

  We explore our mind
  The many worlds inside
  There is never enough thought
  To keep our attention caught

  When we have something to say

  We’ll make it worth your whole

  If you can be patient with our quiet

  Maybe we’ll visit your loud.

  2020-04-07

  Poem, poem draft, poetry

  ---

• communication connundrum

  “Words matter,” I’m told

  And my head thrums

  Trapped by a partial truth

  Lack of minutia in a common saying

  It’s true definition matters

  Using the right words

  Can make a difference

  But only we all agree

  On what those words mean

  Only when we all have

  The same context

  Words get confused

  By colloquial usage

  And multiple meanings

  You can use all the right words

  And completely confuse

  You can use the wrong tone

  And complicate the meaning

  You can do everything right

  And still not be heard

  The truth is mutual understanding

  Is way more important

  Than the words we use.

  2020-04-05

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• allergic to the world

  Most fun things are not fun for me

  I don’t dance or smoke or drink

  Masturbation gives me a hangover

  Pretty much all aerobic activity does

  Going outside gives me a hangover

  Grass, trees, and flowers are not my friend

  Gluten and milk give me a hangover

  As does yeast and aged food

  Perfume doesn’t wait for the next day

  Neither does bleach or ammonia

  Cleaning my house raises dust

  Living in squalor grows bacteria

  My health is a tightrope of avoidance

  Treatment over the counter medicine

  Living within the boundaries of my body

  Finding my own special way to enjoy life

  In a world I’m allergic to.

  2020-04-05

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• not hero or villain, just human

  I don’t want to be your inspiration

  you can’t reduce my experience

  To heroic or pathetic

  I am no cardboard cutout

  I am layers of complicated

  Like any human on this planet

  “At least you have your health.”

  A basic precept we hear

  But what if I don’t

  What if my mind and body

  Don’t follow the norm

  My symptoms are inconsistent 

  I live in a body I can’t count on

  My discomfort isn’t always pain

  Pain implies a specific thing to fix

  Post-exertion malaise and general anxiety

  Fancy words for I’m tired and upset

  I understand it’s hard to understand

  What a lack of health is like

  Because a healthy mind compares

  What it knows to what it sees

  And a healthy body has limits

  But health often returns

  Rejoice in your health, if you have it

  priveledge isn’t shameful on it’s own

  It’s when you add stubborn blinders

  When you aren’t willing to admit

  Your perspective is always limited

  And difference is hard for us all.

  2020-04-04

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Shared Fear

  An unexpected visitor, 

  microscopic in size, 

  The world feels my reality

  This oddly shameful secret 

  that my family shares

  is suddenly not so abnormal

  We are all trapped at home

  Not sure what is next

  A good day or a bad one

  Randomly betrayed by our bodies,

  trapped by our circumstance, 

  Familiar to chronic illness

  The worlds knowledge won’t last

  Their fear will be forgotten

  There will be an after coronavirus

  But today the world shares my fear

  Today we are all insecure

  Uncertain of our health tommorow.

  2020-04-03

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Nothing special here

  Am I a cog in the machine?
  I was raised to believe in special
  That we all want to stand out
  The each of us has value
  But in a unique way
  And yet I am finding comfort
  In my simple everyday
  I am not shiney or special
  My life is dwindling away
  As a tiny component of the whole
  My perspective may be different
  But my actions are mundane
  A supporting member of the chorus
  Nothing to be seen here
  I’ve faded into grey
  My life isn’t over
  But it is unexpected
  That I blend in.

  2019-08-26

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Compassion instead of blame

  You can’t propagate compassion
  By defining an enemy
  The problem with us vs them
  Is the barrier it errects
  Sometimes you have to see
  Through the eyes of priveledge
  To understand how to advocate
  For the rights of disenfranchised
  Admitting that they are losing something
  To equalize the playing field
  Can be a part of the strategy
  To bring them on board
  To make us all into us.

  2019-05-24

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Not mine to inflict

  Choosing not to ingest unplesantness
  Means bad behavior doesn’t earn my ire
  There is no gain in me inflicting pain
  That only teaches others to inflict

  It’s not mine to inform your life
  I can leave, you have to live in you
  Shrugging off your look of disdain
  My smile comes with me as I turn away

  The world is full of choices
  And unhappy is certainly an option
  But the small rewards in a random smile
  Are so much more my style

  2019-05-22

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Terrible artist

  Sometimes persistent
  Often patient
  Compulsively creative
  But not really good

  My audience is me
  I do cause it feels good
  The act of art comforts
  The journey is my goal

  Yeah, I’m productive
  Prolific even
  But I don’t practice
  I don’t improve

  Not trying for better
  Don’t care to compete
  Not studying masters
  Or seeking the masses

  I share my art
  Like a child showing off
  Look at my ugly creation
  See the joy it brought me

  If you find value
  I feel good to share
  If you feel distain
  I’m not sure I care.

  2019-05-16

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Poor old white men

  I’m trying to remember my compassion
  As I see your priveledge torn from you
  You’re knocked down a few pegs
  Made equal with those you lord over
  Like a spoiled child used to having it all
  Suddenly you are forced to share
  And that can feel so unfair
  But your feeling is a reaction
  To sudden equilibrium
  The adjustment to a new normal
  May feel uncomfortable (for you)
  But it is deserved (for us all)
  And you will adjust (in time)
  What we take from you wasn’t yours
  It is proper and fair for you to share
  So I feel empathy for your angst
  But also ritcheous in the outcome.

  2019-04-01

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Not my business

  What’s said behind my back
  Isn’t my business
  I don’t choose to carry anger
  Or bitterness in my heart
  I can’t stop what you think
  Anymore than I can guess it
  And it isn’t my business to know
  Unless you are willing to speak up

  Its my choice to listen
  When criticism is brought to me
  But I also choose to decide
  If I find truth in those words
  When what you say isn’t my truth
  I chose to stay true to myself
  Regardless of what you think

  Self regard may not win me popularity
  But it makes being alone more bearable.

  2018-12-15

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Not truths

  Two faced liar
  Peddling half truth
  Making passing assurances
  Just to shut me up

  The lies you tell to others
  Disprove the lies you tell me
  I see the truth in your actions
  Patterns of behavior betray you

  I don’t understand
  The point of your position
  How is it you don’t learn
  Each new time you get caught

  Messy webs you weave
  Get tangled by your actions
  You try to worm your way out
  Slither past the mess you’ve made

  Somehow you aren’t fazed
  As you go on to lie another day.

  2018-12-15

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Forever lie

  The lie of forever
  Speaks to our lazy soul
  Remembering pain of romance
  The inevitable end of love
  This dank truth we avoid
  We focus on a bright illusion
  An unfounded certainty
  That love will beat the odds
  We court cognitive dissonance
  Let dopamine rule us

  So reality will not intrude
  And I cannot fault this act
  As the idea of forever comforts
  When the reality of now hurts.

  2018-11-30

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Objectification isn't consent

  What a person wears
  How a person looks
  Why a person chooses
  Is not an invitation

  Objectification is a thought
  It isnt the act taken
  The unreality if an object
  Does not circumvent consent

  Decent human beings
  Know that no person is less
  Gender doesn’t gave hierarchy
  No one has the right to harm.

  2018-11-18

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Unnatural nature

  If there only were an invisible bubble
  That could save me from reactions
  That wasn’t stuffy and confining
  Soft climate control and a low fan
  To kept the natural part of nature
  Away from my bodies unnatural response

  I love the feel of grass under my feet
  And the sight of trees above me
  And the smell of damp earth
  I just don’t like the sneezing and sniffles
  The next day boogers and phlegm

  I resent the swirling air of dust
  That irritates on a windy day
  Repulsed by the fragrant fermentation
  Of earth composting after rain
  Surviving the sweet floral smell
  Through the sheer act of avoidance

  I put a photo of the forrest
  On my monitor at home and work
  I live vicariously through video
  Seeing the world through a small screen
  The world I live in may not be ideal
  But I choose distance over discomfort.

  2018-11-07

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• What greater being than this.

  

  We must ostracize this land
  and nullify the bands of secrecy
  to bring back what was forgot
  in white picketed fantasies
  We share this common bond
  an ache within the pond of decency
  clawing up the river we seek the words
  to explain our helot leniency;

  Then, ignoring the rational,
  abruptly you frighten me
  a girl in a forest of feeling
  fearing to Be
  Should I give all
  to this beast you decree
  as a shadow of nothing
  Yet it cries to me feverently
  or shall I call back to it
  and seek it as lustily
  as you do seek me.

  2018-08-06

  Poem, poetry, sex

  ---

• Romance Eludes Me

  I’m caught by the thought;
  The more thet know the less they want
  Real is only ideal until its boring
  Comfort conflicts with commitment

  The dance of romance eludes me
  The function of seduction is a laugh
  The lies that we try just to get by
  Are temporary temptations at best

  I rebel againt the hell of waining interest
  The male gaze doesn’t grant me worth
  I’m not a damsel in distress to be desired
  Somehow I will survive these shallows

  I may lament my loneliness
  But I refute any reference to deference
  I will not be less to catch some quarry
  Let them play that sick game without me.

  2018-08-06

  love, Poem, poetry

  ---

• My art is my priveledge

  Sometimes it’s about perspective
  What we have vs what we don’t
  I may not have health, physical or mental
  I have never been, or known, the idle rich
  But I am smart and employed
  I have love that encouraged my voice
  I comfort myself with my creativity
  Sometimes I have to count my dollars
  Be careful in my choosing of supplies
  But I have more than one canvas
  I have more than one paint
  I have more than one brush
  My art is my priveledge.

  2018-07-25

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• In my youth without thought

  

  In appropriate words I cannot think
  As words are such but a weak expression
  of how this quilted silence lives inside of me
  For deeply is she hidden
  folded under such darkened velvet
  in the quiet recesses of my soul
  That I may no longer know her face
  And in those delicate hands of youth
  She holds a box of memories
  that I may never see
  For in my bitter misery
  I made her hide away from me.

  2018-07-23

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Abject object

  Appearance is our first impression
  Proceeding words spoken
  I aim for clean and cute
  I hope for a second consideration

  I don’t always object to being an object
  But the object I don’t want to be
  Is an object to be owned
  An object chassing affection

  In my old age, I’m tired of sexy
  I’m frustrated by the expectation
  I wish my body wasn’t a barter
  I rebel againt “keeping it up”

  I want to be a free range object
  Living between “looking nice”
  And “keeping a mate”
  My style is for my pleasure

  Attractive is relative
  And personality effects perception
  I hope to be disliked for what I say
  Not for how I look.

  2018-07-07

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Every Voice Matters

  We get so used to fighting the “them”
  That we start to fight our “us”
  We waste our time refining “us”
  And lose the message to minutia

  But it isn’t always about one voice
  Or one consistent message
  The details aren’t as important
  As the thread that binds us

  Our allies make us stronger
  Teachers further our message
  A chorus makes us louder
  Division can only divide us

  There is value in varied perspectives
  The old voice brings wisdom
  The young voice brings change
  The dissenting voice brings reflection

  A unexpected spark in one person
  Grows to a slow burn in the many
  Flames can come together as a wildfire
  But won’t survive if they’re doused.

  2018-07-01

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Contrary

  

  Oh little miss contrary
  why do we have to compete
  they’re just words on brittle lips
  of minds that don’t seem to meet

  I wish you would listen
  to the words you speak aloud
  and see how much they hurt me
  when we’re standing in a crowd

  you don’t have to agree
  to give my words credit
  I wish you’d wear some empathy
  even just a little bit

  it isn’t just what you mean
  that matters when you speak
  it’s what you leave inside of me
  that brings the tears I leak

  I put in you in the distance now
  away from my gentle heart
  your casual, cruel, contrary
  can’t hurt if we’re apart.

  2018-06-25

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Little Pieces

  

  Favorable dissection has been wrought on me
  a delectable detection of my humanity
  The thought was of respect and the truth of fury
  but that has yet to give me reason to flee
  I’ve done all this wonder before
  the socialization I have to deplore
  A gentle reminder of my spawned beginning
  when that soft womb made me secure
  He held me up into the light
  burnt my hand with the burning bulb
  told me of this lack of flight
  this body does withhold
  Bit me off a piece of knowledge
  chewed it down to into bone
  Look down at the rubbled mess
  and pondered wherefore it had come
  Wisdom should be something to relish
  if logic would not interfere
  but love has taken its rightful place
  and given me something to fear.

  2018-06-11

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Try and fail

  I don’t choose a world
  of don’ts and can’ts
  I live my world in try
  and fail and try again
  Sometimes I get success
  I always get productive.

  2018-04-06

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• To much for a man

  If the trick to catch a man
  Is to be thin and young and dumb
  Then Im not sure there is a man
  Im going to try and seek

  Im not willing to be submissive
  To court or keep a guy
  Pleasure and companionship
  Can be found other ways

  Im fat and old and smart
  I like food more than sex
  No one will acuse me of being fun
  Im at odds with keeping a mate

  I wont spend my life
  In a perpetual chase
  I think I can live without
  Yeah, Im better off on my own.

  2018-03-23

  feminist, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Grief

  Grief is an odd thing
  like a slap in the face
  it’s surprises and stings
  and leaves a mark

  It can come in waves
  crashing over us
  pulling us under
  suffocating under the weight

  Other times it’s a numbness
  as if nothing has changed
  but the colors are muted
  The day a bit less bright

  For a moment it isnt so bad
  And then grief sneaks up on us
  because it lives with us always
  the visits just get less frequent

  We go on in this incomplete world
  A world that keeps moving
  A new day that keeps dawning
  We live with what it is.

  2018-03-16

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Happy path

  

  I sometimes wonder
  How they cannot see
  That investing in anger
  Is an act of futility

  Anger does not return joy
  Or make one better
  Rage is the path
  To a rancid bitter

  Happy is hard
  Its a choice of attitude
  A habbit of seeking positive
  Even when your not in the mood

  I dont know whats easier
  The happy or angry path
  But i know the one ive chosen
  And its not one of wrath.

  2018-03-01

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Circus

  

  I never wanted to be a circus clown
  to turn the world upside down
  with a laugh and a lark

  I always wanted them to see me for my mind
  and to think about me anytime
  when they heard my true voice

  the world is more cruel than this
  when it doesn’t give you beauties kiss
  you watch the rest make headway
  while you just wait and pray

  is yearning the only kind of fever
  that will lead me to the place of furvor
  where I’ll find bright lights on my face

  I don’t think it’s wrong to yearn for
  a little recognition for what I make more
  than all the other girls

  I’m driven to the page
  to write down my thoughts about me
  even when the rest don’t care

  I write wishing for a blank stare

  My words are all I have, you see
  to connect me to this world around me
  I wish you could taste them half as much
  as you discard them from your touch.

  2018-02-25

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Beautiful

  

  Do I want to be beautiful?
  is that a burden I desire
  Some might say the answer is easy
  that beauty is always preferred

  If I have to choose which bigots
  feign disgust for me
  do I want to be mocked for my form
  or restricted to a pedestal

  for there are always bigots
  always restrictions
  beauty wouldn’t remove hardship
  it would only change the burdens
  I have to carry

  I’m not ugly, per se,
  I have a symmetrical face
  fair skin, fair hair,
  and sky colored eyes

  but I’m large, a girth greater than most
  my hair is unconventionally cut
  my skin less than flawless
  and, worst of all, my movement is stilted
  I stumble ungracefully through life

  Would I prefer to be thin
  to look like a picture in a magazine
  so that all the men flock to me
  and the women envy

  Could I deny myself food
  and run myself ragged
  spending hours primping
  to grasp for that improbable goal?

  So far the answer is no,
  I do not choose conventional beauty
  Instead I choose comfort,
  and boast pridefully
  of the other qualities
  I have to offer

  Perhaps it’s easier
  not to be the prettiest girl
  to hide behind my bulk
  because this is the only way
  I’ve ever known to be

  2018-02-17

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Living within my limits

  What you consider lazy I live as survival
  My body doesnt work like yours
  If I work to hard I pay for it
  Not in a metaphorical life ballance way
  But in real life flemmy illness and pain
  I dont get to book my day full
  Unless I’m willing to crash many after
  Took years to accept my limitations
  Spent my youth acting physically normal
  And then crying when my body rebelled
  Wasnt until my thirties that I got a clue
  When I finally accepted my limitations
  Changed my attitude about my lack
  I choose whats important to me
  I’m independant and self supporting
  I’m proudly working disabled
  And, no, I dont have much else
  I had to give up the dream of more
  To truely appreciate what I have
  Stopped focusing on whats missing
  And, instead, focus on what I’ve got.

  2018-02-14

  disability, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Rant of exaustion

  My body punishes me for surviving
  each morning of getting up
  each week of going to work.

  I’m tired of being tired.
  And grounchy at being grumpy.
  And worked up about being anxious.

  Pain is not a plesant companion.
  Discomfort is not desired.
  Paranoia can piss off.

  All I want is to sleep a couple days
  so I can feel a little less extra
  be a smidge closer to okay.

  2018-02-03

  disability, Poem, poetry

  ---

• What is happy?

  Is happiness content
  Like a long slow walk
  Or is it bubbling joy
  Like a burst of pleasure
  I have experienced both
  But live with neither
  I am unsettled and uneven
  Like a well worn road
  My discomfort is familiar
  Even as it disatisies
  I aim for content
  Grasping moments of joy
  And still dont understand
  Exactly what happiness is.

  2018-02-02

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Kind Atheist

  I am an unwavering atheist
  No faith and no spritality in me
  But I would never wish to remove
  The innocent belief of another

  How cruel a person I would be
  To wish someone lose faith
  Just so they don’t contradict
  My strongly held worldview

  I dont care how you find comfort
  In this random and uncaring world
  If it doent harm you or another
  I encourage any peace you can keep

  The only part of faith and belief
  I can always disagree with
  Is that which harms or shames
  Or forces itself onto another

  I am not an unkind person
  Some even call me empathetic
  My lack of belief and faith
  Doesnt make me a less caring human.

  2018-01-27

  atheist, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Painfully human

  Being human hurts peoples feelings
  When I treat you like I wanna be treated
  Golden rule doen’t account for difference
  When I treat you as you expect
  Platinum rule doesnt teach difference
  When I act without reflecting
  I’m almost guarenteed to hurt another
  There is no rule for just being ourselves
  No rule that will stop unintentional hurt
  So like a gentle bull in a china shop
  I am myself but try not to harm
  I know being me is right for me
  But may not be what others need.

  2018-01-12

  authenticity, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Change happens

  Change isnt for the better
  Its random and messy
  It sneaks up on a person
  Long time coming and suddenly here

  Change isnt for the worst
  Its personal evolution
  Unexpected metamophisis
  Waking up with a point-of-view

  Change is rarely a choice
  People dont change when they try
  They change because life happens
  Because you can’t escape growth

  Change is a netural force
  It is both big and small
  You cant capture or avoid it
  But you can learn to acept it.

  2017-12-18

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Boredom escapes me

  I don’t understand boredom
  Not as more than a fleeting concept
  How can anyone miss
  All the things to learn and try
  There is a never-ending list
  Pick a random unexplored topic
  And I fall down a rabbit hole
  The minutia can fill a lifetime
  I don’t think I have enough life
  To explore all subjects
  So, I settle on fleeting passions
  Topped off by well researched interests
  But I still struggle to understand
  How people find time for boredom.

  2017-12-16

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• I choose my attitude

  This body didn’t come with a return policy
  I didn’t get to choose its defects
  Neither did I choose my circumstances
  In how I was raised or where I came from
  This is the life I was given

  I could lament the randomness
  And spend my days bemoaning
  Because my life is often not easy
  Everyday is tainted by struggles
  That don’t seem to be the norm

  In one way I lucked out
  Exposed to two versions of suffering
  One who pained all those around her
  Another who choose a better attitude
  I got to learn there is a choice

  I dont want to pass around my pain
  And this isnt always an easy achievement
  Sometimes discomfort makes me silent
  But when I can, I choose plesant
  I aim to be a brighter presence

  There are things in life
  I did not choose and cannot change
  But my attitude is not one of those
  I decide my small affect on this world
  With a smile instead of a grimace.

  2017-11-17

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Same and different

  Young people are assholes
  Not on purpose, mind you
  Their honesty is oblivious
  They dont have years of experience
  To explain others behavior
  They blithely assume
  That we are all the same
  They are ignorant to difference
  Until someone teaches them
  That all snowflakes are frozen water
  But each one has a unique design
  And we humans live in that contrast
  Each of us the same and different.

  2017-11-17

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• Refuse the hunt

  Men are predators
  They hunt everyday
  Sex is their game
  And I dont wanna play

  Boys are taught to dominate
  Early in their youth
  Girls romance about rescue
  Despite its ugly truth

  I dont blame their nature
  But I expect them to be tame
  We have a choice in behavior
  Respect comes with refrain

  I will not blame victims
  I will not excuse perpatrators
  But perhaps I will shame society
  For raising boys into a rapers.

  2017-11-14

  feminist, Poem, poetry

  ---

• My insides don't match your outsides

  I’m told not to compare
  Focus on the same, not different
  But when I get close to someone
  The stories they share are foreign
  A world a part from where I live
  Are their stories all lies?
  Some partial truth hiding harsh reality
  Or am I terminally unique?
  So special that I really can’t relate
  I know I’m not the only wierd ever
  But I am wierder than most
  I romantacize meeting my weird match
  Another wierd that sounds familiar
  The right amount of wierd, together.

  2017-11-09

  authenticity, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Feminist stand

  It seems silly
  That a woman being strong
  And speaking out for women
  Is seen as confrontational
  And taken as an offense

  They treat our power as a challenge
  Like they think we want to win
  As if were trying to replace them
  When in reality we want respect
  We want to stand beside them

  Maybe its fear of the difference
  Because female strength is new
  We can get the same things done
  But we may not take the same path
  We will not defer to the old way

  The thing that irks me the most
  Is I’m trying to understand them
  Im trying to make it easier for them
  Even as they throw shade
  On my burgeoning power.

  2017-09-03

  feminist, Poem, poetry

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