Tag: poetry

• Convincing outliers

  We remember the exception
  Not the rule
  Despite all the good things
  And all the kind people
  It’s the one asshole
  That sticks in our memory.

  2015-09-28

  Poem, poetry, reflection

  ---

• Mr. Yum

  Oh, you fickle flirt
  You made me feel good
  With your sexy words
  But only in passing

  My teenage reaction
  To your digital visage
  Left me wanting more
  I want to eat you up

  But I guess I’m too bold
  Scaring away the skittish
  With my forward demand
  To see you in person

  In this shallow pond
  You may be a catfish
  A sexy illusion
  But my hunger is real

  I’m not up for the game
  Virtual affection can’t satisfy
  Must have my cake
  And eat it too

  I suppose that’s my purpose
  If you’re not bold enough
  To stand beside me
  Then best you run now.

  2015-09-14

  Poem, poetry, sex

  ---

• First moves

  There is no pine in me
  I do not wait around
  For the move of another
  I surge forward
  And fail where I may

  Yearning seems futile
  Why not ask the question
  True answers dont falter
  And I’d rather stand alone
  Than not be wanted

  There is little tact in me
  I corageously blunder
  Blurt out my intent
  Let the awkward sprout
  See what will bloom

  Often I am rejected
  This is a game of many losses
  One you can’t win unless you play
  So I keep failing
  So I keep trying

  I won’t know the answer
  Without asking the question
  I fear the silence
  More than rejection
  So in ask

  Do you want me?

  .

  2015-09-09

  feminist, Poem, poetry, sex

  ---

• Reality is sexy

  Mystery doesn’t do it for me
  Fantasy and role play are so banal
  You know what’s really rare?
  The vulnerable truth

  I never did get grown up games
  Why we put on a mask
  To capture a mate
  It’s such a fruitless pursuit

  Reality seeps in eventually
  And there’s always a loser
  When the one you want
  Isn’t the one you have

  You know what gets me wet?
  When my parter opens up
  When they show what’s real
  When I see their exposed belly

  There are a million reason
  Two people might not match
  Why make it harder
  With lies and obfuscation

  So…I’m gonna be the real me
  And keep sorting through the fakers
  Hoping to find a sweet and real guy
  who’ll share his warm vulnerable heart.

  2015-08-28

  Poem, poetry, sex

  ---

• No one's punching bag

  Words hurt
  Like thinly sliced wounds
  Like a punch to the gut
  Like an unexpected slap

  It may be surface
  My analogies of pain
  But words wounds linger
  They are slow to heal

  I don’t deserve those words
  The subtle little stabs
  The mean biting jabs
  The outright ridicule

  I didn’t enter into
  A loving relatinship
  For the mean spirited banter
  Who would make that a goal?

  I want the sweet words
  The kind expression
  The gentle forgiving
  The abject understanding

  I am no one’s punching bag
  I refuse to launder your frustration
  I will not accept your ridicule
  It’s not my job to suffer you

  If that’s too much to ask
  I cometely understand
  I can move on
  You can go to hell.

  2015-08-26

  authenticity, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Not normal love

  Social discomfort
  Mixed with arrousal
  Uncertain and akward
  Primal courtship begins

  Blood rushes downward
  Depriving the brain
  Flushing nether regions
  Urging action

  Desire pushes foward
  Indecisive movements
  Animalistic urges
  Push past anxiety

  Bodies combined
  There is no thought
  There is no worry
  There is only us

  Naked and spent
  Aware of the pleaure
  Satisfaction derrived
  From not normal love.

  2015-08-09

  love, Poem, poetry

  ---

• What I deserve

  I deserve to be loved
  Publically and openly
  I am no one’s secret
  Refuse to be anyones shame

  I deserve to be adored
  Not because I’m the ideal
  But because I openly adore
  The people I love

  I deserve to feel secure
  To know I am not alone
  Not to doubt I am wanted
  Or to wonder where I stand

  I dont deserve to be compared
  To someone that came before
  Or to an ideal that doesn’t exist
  There is no one like me

  Maybe I’m not perfect
  Maybe we are not perfect
  Maybe I want us to be happy
  With our imperfect together

  I deserve to be the one
  Because I AM the one right now
  There won’t be better
  Until I’m gone.

  2015-08-08

  love, Poem, poetry

  ---

• End of girlish fantasy

  Girls are taught to yearn for a prince
  A man to sweep us off our feet
  To take us to their priveledged world

  I overheard this priveledged man
  Argue against government assistance
  Argue that poverty is a personality deficit

  I listened as he dismissed the poor
  As his friends agreed on our lesser worth
  I felt impotent in the reality of this prince

  My girlish fantasies cracked
  Shatter like a looking glass
  Under the weight of his words

  I’m of the impoverished masses
  A pesant born and bred
  And I refuse to be seen as lesser

  My mundane troubles define me
  I can’t imagine loving someone
  That doesnt understand the same

  And, let me not forget,
  I’m a woman of feminist ideology
  Who isnt looking to be rescued

  Reality is a harsh mistress
  It doesn’t alow us childish games
  It took away my fantasy

  Fuck the prince and his worldview
  I don’t need shelter or rescue
  …even if I idly miss the idea of it.

  2015-07-31

  feminist, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Fucking like teenagers

  Dry humping on my bed
  Mom’s in the next room
  This memory flashes
  In a meeting at work

  I fit around you like a glove
  Tight and warm and eager
  I’m desperate for your touch
  At the most inappropriate times

  We’re full grown
  You might even say old
  But I feel like a hormonal teen
  The moment we’re alone

  On my drive to work
  I smile like the Cheshire cat
  Images of the night before
  Make me wet and squirm

  Can’t wait to see you again
  Your smell, your taste, your touch
  They haunt me deliciously
  I lust after my sexy boy

  Distracting me at work
  Inspiring me when we’re apart
  You make me feel like a teenager
  I can’t wait for the next episode.

  2015-07-25

  Poem, poetry, sex

  ---

• Its okay not to like me

  “You try so hard to be liked”
  I’ve heard this before
  A passing observation
  Usually given without mallace
  But with an undertone of judgement

  Translation: “Stop carring what others think”
  The funny thing is I don’t
  I expect that people don’t like me
  I’m a wierd girl in a nomalized world
  I don’t have a problem with liking myself
  But I’m realistic about others perception

  From an early age I was loved
  Mother reinforced my self-worth
  I am priveledged with self-esteem
  My self-love is close to narcissism
  How is it that people don’t see that?

  I think what they see is that I’m nice
  They hear me passing love around
  Because love is easy for me
  I’m not looking for external self worth
  I’m looking for external acceptance

  Does this mean I care what others think?
  Of course! Who doesnt! I’m curious.
  Does this mean I will change for others?
  Not for strangers. Not for aquaintaces.
  But relationships require compromise

  I care what the people I love think
  I want to know they accept me
  I don’t want to do things that hurt them
  And I can change minor parts of myself
  I’m open to conpromise and negotiation

  I suppose some of what I do
  Is try to give external self worth
  Which is kinda silly, I know
  I can’t make someone love themself
  If you must judge, aim for this futility

  Dont mistake me, I dont I like everyone
  I’m choosy about who I share myself with
  I don’t think everyone can be my friend
  I don’t WANT that many friends
  I just want the people I love to feel loved

  I smile at at strangers so they’ll smile
  But I don’t waste more than a smile
  I consider my attention valuable
  Investement of my true self is rare
  I “try hard” with the ones I “truly love.”

  2015-07-25

  authenticity, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Time shrinks scars

  Some wounds stay with us
  We carry them around
  Covered by scar tissue
  To show the battles survived

  Sometimes those scars ache
  Touch the skin near and we cry
  Seems like we’ll never stop hurting
  But time makes scars shrink
  The pain is less intense
  The longer we survive

  Sometimes a loving touch
  Can inflame the scar
  Even worse than a bump or slap
  But if we can push through the pain
  If we can focus on the caress
  Joy can speed our healing.

  2015-07-22

  authenticity, Poem, poetry

  ---

• It either is or it isn't

  If the feeling is there
  You don’t have to wait
  There is no learning
  It either is or it isn’t

  I’m nobody’s placeholder
  I value myself too much
  To cling to something that isn’t
  Done there, been that

  I will work on us
  When the work is not alone
  But I won’t adapt
  when I’m the only one

  You could be my king
  I’d make you feel loved
  Appreciate you everyday
  If you’d do the same for me

  One sided love
  Is never gonna work
  The song sings true
  No more explination needed.

  2015-07-21

  love, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Delirious

  You’ve infected my brain
  A sickness I court
  I feel my tempature rise
  A pleasurable delirium

  Flashbacks of our intimacy
  Strike me in mundane moments
  Is this fantasy my reality?
  Is this love my hallucination?

  I care little of my condition
  The symptoms become comfort
  When we are apart
  You are within me

  Passing time
  Awaiting my next exposure
  There is no remission
  I wish no cure.

  2015-07-19

  Poem, poetry, sex

  ---

• Love crazy

  A single point
  Focus severe
  Tension immense
  Feelings so dear

  Twisted up
  urging release
  Wanton abandon
  Falling deep

  Paralized
  Sinking slowly
  Still acceptance
  Accepting defeat

  This is love
  I hate it.

  2015-07-15

  love, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Aftershocks

  You are on me
  Lingering in me
  A delectable ache
  A muscle memory

  Nerves echoing
  Vibrating aftershock
  The faults of my body
  Still in a quake

  My nose knows
  Our skin infused
  Your scent and mine
  An aura lingering

  The rich flavor of us
  Desert of pleasure
  The taste and texture
  fresh in my mind

  I feel addicted
  Yearning for a fix
  Your sex is my drug
  I’m a junkie for you love.

  2015-07-12

  Poem, poetry, sex

  ---

• Sexy boy…

  I crave you
  Soft cream of your skin
  Against my eager fingertips
  Rough prickle of your scruff
  Tickling my tender skin
  Gentle weight of your body
  Hovering above mine
  Firm seek of your cock
  Traveling to my warm core
  Suddenly you are everything
  Thrusting, pounding, encompasing
  There is only feel
  Our sex is estatic

  I am wet at the thought
  And yearn for the reality
  I crave you.

  2015-07-08

  Poem, poetry, sex

  ---

• Nose don't knows

  I do not smell
  At least not well
  My olfactory sense
  Is impeded

  My nose is inert
  It doesn’t work
  Unless the stink
  Is quite pungent

  It tickles and twitches
  When the air is dusted
  It drips dew drops
  A trail of clear snot

  I do not smell
  This noses impaired
  A failed organ
  Sitten on my noggin.

  2015-06-03

  disability, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Dr. Doctor

  Bake me a man
  A kind gentle soul
  Who doesn’t depend
  On what the rest know

  Spin me a lady
  A sweet gentle soul
  That sees deep into me
  Feels what I know

  So much education
  Priveledge of health
  How they miss me
  Blinded by themself

  Dr. Doctor
  Listens selectively
  Sees only the obvious
  Compartmentalizes neatly

  Science knows what it knows
  I don’t doubt the facts
  But in practice science isn’t caring
  only a person can do that

  Maybe I need more than a doctor
  Maybe I need someone to hear
  Maybe I want someone to trust
  To share this unhealth I bear.

  2015-03-31

  disability, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Hysterical

  Boys call us crazy
  Men doubt our veracity
  Doctors send us to therapy
  Secretly, they think we lie

  Ever evolving emotions
  Taken as inconcistancy
  We must not know ourselves
  If our feelings can change

  Ladies don’t challenge the norm
  Don’t question the authority
  They think they know us better
  Than we know ourselves

  So I don’t trust them
  Because I trust myself
  If this is my hysteria
  I define it, I defy them.

  2015-03-31

  feminist, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Want a Partner

  I don’t need to be saved
  I refuse to serve
  If I had my way
  I’d stand beside

  Raised by women
  I know feminine power
  Didn’t realize the divide
  Until I dated men

  I am not a concubine
  Or a doting mother
  But I am feminine
  A confident woman

  We can save each other
  We can take turns as slave
  Let love reflect respect
  Let man be equal with woman.

  2015-03-23

  feminist, love, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Love makes me crazy

  Sure, I have a type
  Short busty brunet girls
  Tall lanky blond boys
  But the ones I want
  don’t want me

  Im not a pretty girl
  I don’t excel socially
  Not slutty enough
  To have indiscriminate sex
  Not moral enough
  To bow down in submission

  But, you know,
  Attraction isn’t neccisary
  For sex or companionship
  You don’t have to be pretty
  To feel comfort, to feel pleasure
  You just need someone that cares

  I dream of a comforting relationship
  With someone I share interests
  And can talk to freely

  I dream of someone
  Loving who I am
  Not what they see

  One sided love makes me crazy
  Literally mentally unstable
  I’d rather skip the crazy
  And wish for peace instead

  2015-01-10

  Poem, poetry, sex

  ---

• Trying not to engage

  There is no win
  No approval to be had
  So often you’re wrong
  Which you rarely admit

  I think this is about you
  You’re mad at yourself
  And I’m just present
  For your rampant disapproval

  Why do I care?
  You’re anger is so silly
  So useless in its purpose
  It’s not like it improves you

  Except I am present
  And aware of your ire
  I feel it infect those around me
  I feel it infect myself

  The discomfort you spread
  Is so fickle and unfair
  I didn’t earn it
  I don’t deserve it

  I try not to engage
  Duck my head once again
  Make the best of things
  Until I have other options.

  2014-12-04

  authenticity, Poem, poetry

  ---

• Immasculative

  It’s not my job to make you feel like a man
  I’m not going to be less smart
  Or make less money
  Or hide my strength
  So that you can feel superior

  
  Submissive isn’t who I am
  I don’t have sex to make you happy
  I have sex for the orgasm
  I’m looking for my fulfillment
  For my my gratification
  I’m selfish like a man

  
  Happy spinster
  With my electric vibrator
  Not gonna be less of myself
  Not gonna play a gender role
  For the chance to hook a man
  And his conditional love

  
  I’d be so much more likely
  To wanna put your dick in my mouth
  If you adored my personality
  If you loved all my flaws
  If you let me be in control
  And sex was about me.

  2014-12-03

  feminist, Poem, poetry

  ---

• inertia

  Inertia has me in its grip
  So many things I could do
  Yet none of them done

  I wonder if I sleep all day
  Will my longing run away
  Or will I continue to hunger

  Something has to be done
  Removing myself from listless
  Make of myself something useful

  Give me a moment
  And I’ll get up
  I tell myself

  Yeah…right.

  2013-12-25

  Poem, poetry, reflection

  ---

• This is how I don't get sick

  Everyday I get up

  Sit all day at work

  Come home for bed

  Each weekend I rest

  recuperate from the week

  get ready for monday

  There are no visitors

  on a weeknight or weekend

  just occasional family

  There is no spouse or kid

  because taking care of me

  is hard enough

  On rare occasion

  I do extra chores

  or steal a moment of fun

  Mostly, I live within

  the limit set by my body

  getting ready for monday

  This is how I don’t get sick.

  2013-12-14

  disability, Poem, poetry

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