fat hurts less

How do I explain
Why I live in this body 
Why I don’t starve
Maybe rejection stings
Maybe ugly isn’t awesome
But I can’t escape allergic
When my skin aches
With general discomfort
Everything is swollen
And exercise hurts
Food is medicine
Food feels good
Drugs dull the mind
I want to live awake
Weight is the lesser evil
Fat hurts less.

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