Category: poetry

• Not my emotional labor

  It’s not my job to improve you

  You can go on your own journey

  I’m not interested in changing you

  If you want to be better, then do that

  But don’t expect me to mold you

  Self improvement comes from self

  I can’t force you to change

  True change is from within

  Only you can change you

  I either need to accept you

  Or be ready to let you go

  Either option works for me

  I may stick around for now

  Only up until you are insufferable

  Life has no guarantee and that includes me.

  2026-08-31

  ---

• My sauce is weak

  Your judgement is yours to keep

  I don’t need to act like you deem

  And if fighting is the standard

  I defy it with my choices

  You may think it’s strong to fight

  You may think battle is necessary

  You may think you know best

  I’m happy to defy your expectations

  I get to choose my battles

  I get to decide what I need

  Sometimes my survival is passive

  Comfort can be a part of survival

  Just because I could doesn’t mean I will

  If you think that is “weak sauce”

  I will own my weak sauce.

  2026-08-24

  ---

• don’t promise a safe space

  We can’t predict a safe space

  Just like I can’t read minds

  I dont know another’s lived experience

  People can harm unintentionally

  People can harm with the best of intent

  Even kindness can cause harm

  Because one person’s intent

  Doesn’t define another’s experience

  And intent doesn’t excuse harm

  Each of our needs are unique

  And assumption of sameness wrong

  Interactions complicated by minutia

  The best we can do is respect

  Know our human limitations

  Make the best of flawed humanity

  Be an Ally that knows better

  Don’t promise what you don’t know.

  2026-08-17

  ---

• nighttime self doubt

  Late at night in bed

  I’m convinced people hate me

  That I’m offensive and unwanted

  Because of what I represent

  Because I choose to be myself

  Because I’m not palatable

  That is my anxiety

  Singing a song of discontent

  And putting shadows in my brain

  If I can let myself sleep

  The morning brings me ease

  And I don’t feel all this false shame

  About the person I am.

  2026-08-10

  ---

• be with me not against them

  I’d rather be supported in quiet rooms

  Than fought for in loud ones

  Bravery is called chivalrous

  But it isn’t called kind or loving

  Your bravado and blustering is a look

  And I want more than fashion

  I want to know you hear me everyday

  I want a partner who let’s me choose

  Maybe the battles are bad look

  Maybe I don’t wish any violence

  And that includes defending my honor

  An honor that I don’t let them define

  So if they want to shit on my name

  Let them be monkeys throwing shit

  While I get to be more evolved

  Can we both decide to run away

  And hold hands while we’re hiding

  Let me defy violence in your embrace

  Hold me close as I choose peace.

  2026-08-03

  ---

• None ya beeswax

  If you employ me

  Don’t mention my health

  Even if I speak about it

  Don’t ask about progress

  Don’t suggest treatment

  I can share as much as I want

  That doesn’t give you permission

  Yes, this dynamic isn’t fair

  Because I live in a broken body

  And you have power over me

  If you feel silenced by me

  It’s because of the beeswax

  The fact that it isn’t yours

  But also it’s the law.

  2026-07-27

  ---

• standing out in a crowd

  I wasn’t raised to be better

  I wasn’t told to follow your rules

  I was taught to love myself

  I was raised to know my power

  By making my own choices

  By not listening to your shoulds

  So I don’t fit you expectation

  Any better than you fit mine

  Because I expect kindness

  I demand autonomy

  I won’t put up with your abuse

  And I don’t fit in your world.

  2026-07-20

  ---

• doing nothing isn’t fun

  I don’t want to spend my life in bed

  This isn’t something I choose

  Don’t compare your lack of sleep

  Or lack of available hours in the day

  To my lack of available energy

  A day in bed is nice the first time

  But then it becomes a prison

  A boring place of emptiness

  No happy or sad memories

  A waste of time that doesn’t satisfy

  After sleeping in, you return to life

  You get to accomplish things

  While I’m still trapped by fatigue

  Nothing to show for my time

  And another day lost to tired.

  2026-07-13

  ---

• You don’t envy disability

  You hear about being in bed

  And not having to work

  And you feel a moment of envy

  But what you want is a vacation

  You could use a break and a nap

  You want to escape explotation

  Because capitolism isn’t fair

  But disability isn’t better

  Not working means poverty

  It means isolation and struggle

  You don’t envy chronic illness

  You don’t understand not having choices

  You can push through a cold

  And not end up in pneumonia

  You don’t want these deficits

  You want a nap and a vacation.

  2026-07-06

  ---

• you're not helping

  Just because you can’t comprehend

  How I exist or manage to survive

  Does not give you right to interject

  To force yourself into my life

  What you see as me struggling

  Is my fiercly independant spirit

  I’m not a lost child or pitiful creature

  If you insist on perceiving me at all

  Speak to me like you would a stranger

  Respect my space and right to fail

  I didn’t invite or ask for your help

  You’re not my helper or savior.

  2026-06-29

  ---

• What is a little pain

  The persistant tickle in the throat

  The burn in the middle of the chest

  The expanding deep in the gut

  The crackling of bone in the joints

  The pulsing in the balls of the foot

  The tight swollen itch of the skin

  The pressure of sinus in the face

  The sting of hot and irritated skin

  The knot of contracted muscle

  The little pains all add up

  And eat away at my day.

  2026-06-22

  ---

• Survival makes us liars

  The world made us con artist

  You know the world won’t believe

  You can either hide the truth

  Or exaggerate reality

  There is no win in truth

  Being authentic is a trick

  Vulnerability is a risk

  We loose either way

  All we can do is survive

  Hope the world doesn’t tear us down.

  2026-06-15

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• don’t be you

  “Don’t make it your personality”

  Translated means “don’t act that way”

  Don’t acknowledge who you are

  Act normal, even when your not

  We don’t want your authentic self

  Because you don’t fit in our narrative

  They don’t want to see our reality

  Maybe because it scares them

  Probably because it’s uncomfortable

  This is their weakness, not ours.

  2026-06-08

  ---

• You don’t mean to misunderstand

  I’m trying not to blame you

  For not understanding me

  I try to provide metaphors

  To explain lived experience

  Of life with chronic illness

  Because my simple words

  Are dismissed as complaints

  As if we all have the same life

  But we are not the same

  When I speak of fatigue

  I’m not talking about needing sleep

  I’m talking about a lack of recovery

  I’m talking about limited energy

  That sleep doesn’t refresh

  You translate this into your experience

  That life is tiring and overwhelming

  You belittle through ignorance

  I don’t have the energy

  To waste being mad at you.

  2026-06-01

  ---

• Monetized necessity

  Fighting for our needs

  Should be ridiculous

  Instead it’s common place

  Necessity is monitized

  Needs are considered priveledge

  A priveledge with a pricetag

  Capitalist make money off needs

  A rare few get to be comfortable

  The rest of us must fight

  The struggle becomes expected

  Strength becomes required

  Life is treated as a battle

  And not everyone gets to live.

  2026-05-25

  ---

• People are mean

  Individuals can be kind

  But put them is a group

  And they become a gang

  Groupthink brings out the worst

  Petty behavior becomes standard

  Hating on outsiders is the norm

  When in plural, people are bad

  And the desire to join in

  Can make the best person less so

  In plural, people are mean.

  2026-05-18

  ---

• Wish no harm

  I don’t want any person to die

  But capitolism emboldens preditors

  At what point do I get to see them

  Seperate like they see us

  As I am prey in the world of money

  Should I wish long life on my hunters

  Should I give them grace

  I’m the face of my servitude

  Or can I forgive myself

  For wanting monsters to die

  For valid anger at exploitation

  I try to forgive my petty thoughts

  I don’t want them to die

  But I do want to remove their power.

  2026-05-11

  ---

• Estranged from health

  For those who don’t have it

  Health is not our friend

  It isn’t even an enemy

  More like an estranged relative

  Judgemental and unkind

  Judging us on some standard

  That we can’t fulfill

  Making us feel small

  Tricking us into believing

  That everyone else is fine

  We’re the painful exception

  A sore thumb

  In a world of thriving fingers.

  2026-05-04

  ---

• morally neutral

  Most of life is morally neutral

  While some actions are harmful

  Harm can occur without intent

  Choices have consequences

  And under groupthink wisdom withers

  It can be twisted to encourage harm

  Power is a negative influence

  And blind obedience isn’t a virtue

  My advise is common sense

  Which isn’t often common

  Try not to harm yourself

  Try not to do harm to others

  Trust what others say of themselves

  Don’t assume you know best for all

  Pay attention to cause and effect

  Try to be a person open to differences

  Understand life is complicated

  Any sermon that suggest otherwise

  Was probably written by priveledge

  Was spoken with intent to oppress.

  2026-04-27

  ---

• ignorant

  Choosing not to see

  Is only denying bias

  And it’s only slightly less bad

  Than active bigotry

  You claim that you can’t see

  The issue that clearly exists

  You act like it’s small

  You encourage keeping it unspoken

  You make sure it exists

  Through your opacity

  You lack of action is insidious

  By keeping it hidden

  You are the problem.

  2026-04-20

  ---

• The law is a white lie

  The law doesn’t stop discrimination

  The letter of the law

  Requires reasonable doubt

  It makes a rule

  And hopes compliance

  It can deter explicit acts

  It often encourages performace

  It’s a group delusion in goodness

  It’s the polite white lie of inclusion

  Sometimes it can lead to punishment

  But it has no teeth to stop implicit bias

  As implicit means hidden

  And hidden things will hide

  The law enforces what can be proven

  Hidden things aren’t always provable.

  2026-04-13

  ---

• eventually, we all become disabled

  I don’t mean this to be a threat

  Or a noose hanging over your future head

  But either you get old or you die young

  And with age comes a failing body

  And your future self will care

  About how the world views disability

  Sure, this is a future you problem

  Maybe you’ll be the very rare exception

  A rare able bodied octogenarian

  Or maybe you will kick the bucket early

  Not that the odds matter if your dead

  But I hope for you a long life

  A chance to have wisdom in old age

  Disability isn’t worse than death

  It’s just less comfortable than youth.

  2026-04-06

  ---

• Don’t trust men

  I know better than to trust a man

  Particularly a cis white one

  They’re used to their priveledge

  Their reality is an echo chamber

  They expect to be deferred to

  They want me to be a good girl

  While my nature is iconoclast

  They want to fight and win

  While I want to survive

  I avoid, not looking to confront

  I don’t have to engage

  Under rules they define

  My defiance is silent

  My rebellion is on my terms.

  2026-03-30

  ---

• Kindness is the curse of women

  To have a nature of giving

  Leaves us open to those who take

  To feel our empathy so deeply

  When the world is so calculated

  As we teach and care for the victors

  We become agent of our destruction

  Assistant of the villains who victimize

  So, in a colonial world we are conquered.

  2026-03-23

  ---

• White feminist

  I must remove the colonial in me

  Must remove misogyny

  Don’t want to act like a man

  As men are predatory

  They choose to ignore priveledge

  I’d have to be a bully to fit in

  And dismiss delicacy as a joke

  I don’t want to be a man

  Or to have men’s rights

  I want to be a woman

  With my own rights

  I want all people to be equal

  I want priveledge removed

  So I must start with myself

  Removed priveledge requires loss

  In the form of giving back.

  2026-03-16

  ---

• raising my hand to ask

  The threat of social rejection

  Won’t defer me from asking questions

  That’s your shame spiral, not mine,

  I’m brave enough to look weak now

  Because when I’m in the know later

  You’ll still be hiding your ignorance

  They’ve tamed you into silence

  To be obedient and agreeable

  While I’m searching for honest

  You get the reward from group think

  Of not being ostracized for asking

  I get the discomfort of intelligence

  In the end you’re more acceptable

  I’m seen as a loser and identify as loner

  Because I can’t keep mouth shut.

  2026-03-09

  ---

• Inconsiderate medical

  They didn’t ask about my insomnia

  Sleepless three days after my stroke

  They wake you every 4 hours

  And don’t close the doors

  They asked about food preferences

  But couldn’t answer my questions

  And kept bringing me food I couldn’t eat

  Because I have food allergies

  But since it wasn’t anaphylaxis

  They didn’t care if I shit my pants

  While trapped in a bed after my stroke

  They were anoyed when I spoke up

  So no sleep and not enough food

  Three days after a stroke

  In transfer they messed up my meds

  So I was in pain all the next night

  Sent entertainment director for complaints

  I wasn’t looking for attention

  They just couldn’t fix my issues

  Their system was broken

  And I had the audacity to point it out.

  2026-03-02

  ---

• body betrays

  I don’t understand your lack of pain

  In a body that doesn’t daily complain

  As if health is a friendly companion

  Instead of an abusive relationship

  My body doesn’t cooperate

  It’s inconsistent and inconsiderate

  I can’t plan for health or strive for it

  I expect unexpected symptoms

  I shouldn’t compare my trauma

  To your seemingly perfect health

  Comparison is the theif of joy

  My body’s already betrayed itself.

  2026-02-23

  ---

• health is a cliche

  They speak in platitudes

  Phrases they don’t try to understand

  Declaring that “health is wealth”

  Saying, “at least you have your health”

  And if we are ill, then “get better soon”

  They tell us to “focus on your health”

  Like health is a synonym of happy

  Dare I suggest a moment of reflection

  As I speak in competing cliche

  We all know, “getting old is inevitable”

  And “illness the companion of old age”

  We don’t need to win at health

  Health is a changeable part of life

  Disability a morally neutral fact

  Even if I’m not able to run a mile

  I can still wear my stuborn smile.

  2026-02-16

  ---

• money vs medicine

  Money doesn’t care about people

  Profit has a tangible downside

  People think medicine is care

  Medical professionals want to be caring

  But insurance companies seek money

  And drug companies seek money

  Human need and money are in conflict

  The money side is willing to sacrifice

  Money undermines compassion

  Requires doctors to reach monetary goals

  The money is winning.

  2026-02-09

  ---

• beat them to the punchline

  You can’t defeat a bully on their terms

  They play a game of likeability

  They count on your shame

  But you can defy the game they play

  Embrace their joke as your own

  Not to make them laugh with you

  But in deciding you like yourself

  Be okay with your awkward and wierd

  Make their mocking foolish

  Because you know who you are

  When you embrace your identity

  Your answer becomes, “yes, and…?”

  Because you aren’t ashamed

  If they can’t get a rise out of you

  They’ll likely loose interest

  What’s the point of teasing

  When no one cares.

  2026-02-02

  ---

• the law only sees explicit bias

  You can’t prosecute a lack of aware

  The law is aimed at purposeful action

  The burden is to show proof of intent

  So the law won’t stop implicit bias

  It actually encourages bias to hide

  Most people have good explicit intent

  Offended by suggestions otherwise

  Most people are law abiding citizens

  Who can’t see their hidden bias

  Never realizing how they are wrong

  Because implicit bias isn’t illegal.

  2026-01-26

  ---

• sometimes people suck

  Most days I don’t hate people

  I remember we’re flawed humans

  Who rarely intend to harm

  And the people in my life

  Are mostly kind with intent

  But then there are the exception

  The loud and ugly minority

  That make me doubt humanity

  They bully and bluster and pontificate

  They find joy in putting others down

  And I really hate those people

  I feel small in their angry presence

  They hurt my feeling with intent

  They make me doubt the world

  I know memory will fade with time

  Distance will bring me perspective

  But today I really don’t like them

  Still scorched by their recent kiss.

  2026-01-19

  ---

• don't take words from me

  Would you like to be spoken over

  Have your story told by someone else

  Someone that didn’t ask permission

  Didn’t even ask for your take

  Telling a second hand impression

  Speaking to experience they never had

  Casting you as a paper cutout

  Good or bad or childlike or inspiring

  A being without dimensions

  They even tell you the words to use

  How to describe your own story

  This is the disabled experience

  Having our stories told by others

  Don’t be an advocate in place of us

  Nothing about us without us.

  2026-01-12

  ---

• Happy loser

  I’m not a winner
  my hard work hasn’t lead
  to some great reward
  I’m just getting by

  I haven’t been blessed
  by easy chances or ready success
  I’m very aware that life is hard

  I don’t have lots of friends
  and I’m not easy to know
  popularity isn’t something I have
  or even something I strive for

  I’m terrible at meeting new people
  experience has taught me that only a few
  won’t blanch when they see the real me

  I’m not a pretty girl
  you could call me big or bold
  but never dainty, graceful, or serene

  I’m stuborn and prideful
  I might know how to play the game
  but I can’t stomach it
  so I sit on the sidelines

  I won’t give everything
  so that everyone will like me
  I’d rather like myself

  Maybe I am to be pittied
  I don’t have that much
  just my self respect
  people I’d trust with my life
  and a passion that drives me

  measured against the world
  I’m not a winner
  some might even go so far
  as to call me a loser
  but at least I’m a happy loser
  instead of a depressed sucess.

  2026-01-06

  ---

• Real Men deserve this discomfort

  When a man’s ego is fragile

  They’re angered by rejection

  They resent active consent

  They feel owed sexual obedience

  “Real men” demand much but offer little

  Play acting feigned incompetence

  Dismissing well earned distrust

  “Real men” often harm women

  But a man can defy their gender role

  By discouraging harm by other “real men”

  By not excusing predatory behavior

  By not embracing male violence

  Us women learn to live with fear

  To protect ourself from male behavior

  “Real men” deserve this derision

  It’s time they learn to live with disdain

  Wisdom comes from reflection

  Imagine why a woman could hate men

  Take a first step to be a better person.

  2026-01-05

  ---

• Arbitrary rules

  Polite society is ridiculous

  Assigning arbitrary behaviors

  Enforcing made up rules

  It may teach some to fit in

  But it’s end purpose is exclusion

  Polite isn’t kind or compassionate

  It’s duplicitous and backhanded

  A lack of social knowledge

  And it culls you from the herd

  There is no survival purpose

  Just subtle ways to harm outsiders.

  2025-12-29

  ---

• bootstraps don't fly

  Don’t talk to me about bootstraps

  I was raised in sneakers

  And my laces won’t hold my weight

  But that’s kinda the point

  “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps”

  Is the dismissive shorthand of apathy

  The saying is a posture of priveledge

  As if misfortune is a personal problem

  As if an independent spirit is the cure

  Even those born with boots

  Can’t pull themselves up by straps

  The fortunate prescribe a magic trick

  An absurd act of impossibility

  Knowing that boots don’t trickle down

  Knowing that straps cant make us fly

  We are held down by our own feet

  Our absurdity is asking for help

  Some extra hands to lift us up.

  2025-12-22

  ---

• don’t hate your job

  This is harder than it sounds

  Work is presented as not plesant

  The social contract doesn’t suggest joy

  Work is a pain we must endure

  But life is too short to hate

  You give a job so much time

  Aim find a job you don’t hate

  Aim for minor annoyance

  Or find a way to be grateful

  Find a way to settle into acceptance

  The gamble against misery is worth it

  Be warry of monetizing your joy

  Turning passion into a job is risky

  Demands can smother passion

  Requirement can dilute expression

  Find compromise through choice

  You deserve some comfort

  Make money to support your passion

  Find a way to be less miserable.

  2025-12-15

  ---

• inspiration isnt respect

  My survival of this trauma

  Isn’t a teachable moment for you

  Why do you insist I inspire?

  What lesson have you learned?

  Cause it feels like you othered me

  Hidden behind a performative smile

  Those pretty words distance us

  Words to make you feel less akward

  Because you can’t imagine my life

  You can’t see surviving my reality

  And by putting me on a pedestal

  By saying such empty pleasantries

  You get to walk away from this

  Without a second thought

  But your inspiration isn’t respect

  It’s a wall between you and I.

  2025-12-08

  ---

• closer to men's power

  Youth, beauty, and health,

  With a touch of subservience

  Gets some ladies closer to power

  If you align with the patriarchy

  You get some of the benefits

  By enforcing their rules

  Make sure others fall in line

  Compete for the limited resources

  Men are stingy with their affection

  And fickle with devotion

  And there’s a time clock

  Once youth, beauty, or health fade

  You become one with the many

  Just another discarded lady.

  2025-12-01

  ---

• Honey not vinegar

  You can stun flies with fumes

  Your vinegar may be fragrant

  But it isn’t exactly attractive

  It only captivates other stinkers

  Honey is sweet and lasting

  It sparkles in the sun

  If you dont want enemies

  Try to be less mean or cruel

  Consider a different fuel

  Try fake it til you make it

  Even if the cake is inedible

  You can still layer it with frosting

  It’s not that flies are smart

  But they don’t return to bitter.

  2025-11-24

  ---

• We don’t owe health

  I don’t owe corporate greed

  My sick days are owed to me

  They are a part of my liberty

  I deserve to rest and recoperate

  I’m not stealing from billionaires

  By having the common cold

  Or needing a mental health day

  Or taking care of family

  The news tries to spin it

  Like sick days are theft

  That any lack of productivity

  Is a corporate loss

  From their mountains of wealth

  But that’s pure gasslighting

  A spin and twist of the truth

  Eugenics and abelist rhetoric

  I see past their con

  And wonder how anyone buys it.

  2025-11-17

  ---

• Old girl

  Let me be the one you respect

  Not the one you’d sext

  Because I’m past the age

  Of being a piece of ass

  I’m old enough to be a friend

  Glad to let the shine wane

  I don’t want the polish of new

  I need to be a colloquial term

  Deem me your “Ol’ girl”

  A term of sexless endearment

  Removed from sex appeal.

  2025-11-10

  ---

• wide ass

  Men don’t want wide ass attitude

  They want skinny ass subservience

  They might find defiance interesting

  A passing delight but not a wife

  In a plump woman who isn’t starving

  Fat she can keep some happiness

  Instead of pursuing a tinyer self

  Not trying to trap a mediocre man

  But deny the path of accepted beauty

  Not to starve for acceptance

  That is iconoclastic.

  2025-11-03

  ---

• Eat shit too

  I’m supposed to be gracious

  Understanding and forgiving

  Of my oppressors

  Because they are human

  Because they don’t know better

  And me questioning their actions

  Doesn’t fit their narrative

  I’m supposed to be nice

  And play the game silently

  While they demean me

  While they ignore my needs

  Because speaking up is rude

  Being loud is unseemly

  And when they pile my plate full

  I’m supposed to smile at the shit

  The steaming pile they give to me

  And act like I’m eager to eat it.

  2025-10-27

  ---

• cause and effect

  Forgiveness isn’t for the other person

  It’s about what we carry around

  Do we live in anger and frustration

  Do we let resentment run our life

  Do we let pain stain our everyday

  Or do we find a way to let it go

  A boundary isn’t a rule you set

  It’s an action taken in responce

  When a request is actively ignored

  A rule is asking for for respect

  But when someone refuses to comply

  A boundary is consequences

  Anger is a fierce fleeting feeling

  We can give the flame a purpose

  Or choose to let the fire die

  When we’re intentional with that heat

  We’re less likely to get burnt.

  2025-10-20

  Poem, poetry

  ---

• I don't choose this

  There are two types of hypochondriac

  Doctor seeking and doctor avoidant

  They claim I am the later

  Since they can’t find a diagnosis

  They tell me I’m too aware of my body

  They say my symptoms are somatic

  They suggest I think myself better

  I see their microagression bullshit

  They’re gaslighting and victim blaming

  I don’t trust doctors, so I’m avoidant

  I wait until my symptoms are actute

  I wont invite their incompetence

  This is the social model of disability

  If I’m an avoidant hypochondriac

  It’s not that I imagine my symptoms

  It’s that doctors are agents of trauma

  My diagnosis a product of the system

  My PTSD is based in reality

  They gave me this mental illness

  I don’t choose to suffer their abuse

  I won’t seek out their advise

  Unless I have a compelling reason

  Until they can’t ignore my pain.

  2025-10-13

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• habit of happy

  Being miserable is normal

  It takes courage to break the mold

  A positive outlook takes persistence

  It’s a hard won habit of seeing good

  Toxic positivity is gaslighting

  Suggesting you ignore the bad

  But authentic positivity is a habit

  Choosing to see the breadcrumbs

  On an seemingly empty plate.

  Even thought the everyday misery.

  2025-10-06

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• Invisible illness

  I pass as able-bodied

  I’m judged as lazy and malingering

  I tried to believe what I was told

  I really tried to think myself better

  Forcing my body past it’s limitations

  And doubting my lived experience

  I bought into a very convincing lie

  Until I learned to trust myself

  Willpower didn’t cure my illness

  Acceptance made my life easier

  Its a blessing and curse

  Because I’m not seen as disabled

  I’m seen as a flawed human

  My experience is not common

  But I’m not going to convince them.

  2025-09-29

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