There are two types of hypochondriac
Doctor seeking and doctor avoidant
They claim I am the later
Since they can’t find a diagnosis
They tell me I’m too aware of my body
They say my symptoms are somatic
They suggest I think myself better
I see their microagression bullshit
They’re gaslighting and victim blaming
I don’t trust doctors, so I’m avoidant
I wait until my symptoms are actute
I wont invite their incompetence
This is the social model of disability
If I’m an avoidant hypochondriac
It’s not that I imagine my symptoms
It’s that doctors are agents of trauma
My diagnosis a product of the system
My PTSD is based in reality
They gave me this mental illness
I don’t choose to suffer their abuse
I won’t seek out their advise
Unless I have a compelling reason
Until they can’t ignore my pain.
Elizebeth Turnquist 
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