Elizebeth Turnquist

Poor old white men

I’m trying to remember my compassion
As I see your priveledge torn from you
You’re knocked down a few pegs
Made equal with those you lord over
Like a spoiled child used to having it all
Suddenly you are forced to share
And that can feel so unfair
But your feeling is a reaction
To sudden equilibrium
The adjustment to a new normal
May feel uncomfortable (for you)
But it is deserved (for us all)
And you will adjust (in time)
What we take from you wasn’t yours
It is proper and fair for you to share
So I feel empathy for your angst
But also ritcheous in the outcome.

2019-04-01

Poem, poetry
Not my business

What’s said behind my back
Isn’t my business
I don’t choose to carry anger
Or bitterness in my heart
I can’t stop what you think
Anymore than I can guess it
And it isn’t my business to know
Unless you are willing to speak up

Its my choice to listen
When criticism is brought to me
But I also choose to decide
If I find truth in those words
When what you say isn’t my truth
I chose to stay true to myself
Regardless of what you think

Self regard may not win me popularity
But it makes being alone more bearable.

2018-12-15

Poem, poetry
Not truths

Two faced liar
Peddling half truth
Making passing assurances
Just to shut me up

The lies you tell to others
Disprove the lies you tell me
I see the truth in your actions
Patterns of behavior betray you

I don’t understand
The point of your position
How is it you don’t learn
Each new time you get caught

Messy webs you weave
Get tangled by your actions
You try to worm your way out
Slither past the mess you’ve made

Somehow you aren’t fazed
As you go on to lie another day.

2018-12-15

Poem, poetry
Forever lie

The lie of forever
Speaks to our lazy soul
Remembering pain of romance
The inevitable end of love
This dank truth we avoid
We focus on a bright illusion
An unfounded certainty
That love will beat the odds
We court cognitive dissonance
Let dopamine rule us

So reality will not intrude
And I cannot fault this act
As the idea of forever comforts
When the reality of now hurts.

2018-11-30

Poem, poetry
Objectification isn't consent

What a person wears
How a person looks
Why a person chooses
Is not an invitation

Objectification is a thought
It isnt the act taken
The unreality if an object
Does not circumvent consent

Decent human beings
Know that no person is less
Gender doesn’t gave hierarchy
No one has the right to harm.

2018-11-18

Poem, poetry
Unnatural nature

If there only were an invisible bubble
That could save me from reactions
That wasn’t stuffy and confining
Soft climate control and a low fan
To kept the natural part of nature
Away from my bodies unnatural response

I love the feel of grass under my feet
And the sight of trees above me
And the smell of damp earth
I just don’t like the sneezing and sniffles
The next day boogers and phlegm

I resent the swirling air of dust
That irritates on a windy day
Repulsed by the fragrant fermentation
Of earth composting after rain
Surviving the sweet floral smell
Through the sheer act of avoidance

I put a photo of the forrest
On my monitor at home and work
I live vicariously through video
Seeing the world through a small screen
The world I live in may not be ideal
But I choose distance over discomfort.

2018-11-07

Poem, poetry
What greater being than this.

We must ostracize this land
and nullify the bands of secrecy
to bring back what was forgot
in white picketed fantasies
We share this common bond
an ache within the pond of decency
clawing up the river we seek the words
to explain our helot leniency;

Then, ignoring the rational,
abruptly you frighten me
a girl in a forest of feeling
fearing to Be
Should I give all
to this beast you decree
as a shadow of nothing
Yet it cries to me feverently
or shall I call back to it
and seek it as lustily
as you do seek me.

2018-08-06

Poem, poetry, sex
Romance Eludes Me

I’m caught by the thought;
The more thet know the less they want
Real is only ideal until its boring
Comfort conflicts with commitment

The dance of romance eludes me
The function of seduction is a laugh
The lies that we try just to get by
Are temporary temptations at best

I rebel againt the hell of waining interest
The male gaze doesn’t grant me worth
I’m not a damsel in distress to be desired
Somehow I will survive these shallows

I may lament my loneliness
But I refute any reference to deference
I will not be less to catch some quarry
Let them play that sick game without me.

2018-08-06

love, Poem, poetry
My art is my priveledge

Sometimes it’s about perspective
What we have vs what we don’t
I may not have health, physical or mental
I have never been, or known, the idle rich
But I am smart and employed
I have love that encouraged my voice
I comfort myself with my creativity
Sometimes I have to count my dollars
Be careful in my choosing of supplies
But I have more than one canvas
I have more than one paint
I have more than one brush
My art is my priveledge.

2018-07-25

Poem, poetry
In my youth without thought

In appropriate words I cannot think
As words are such but a weak expression
of how this quilted silence lives inside of me
For deeply is she hidden
folded under such darkened velvet
in the quiet recesses of my soul
That I may no longer know her face
And in those delicate hands of youth
She holds a box of memories
that I may never see
For in my bitter misery
I made her hide away from me.

2018-07-23

Poem, poetry
Abject object

Appearance is our first impression
Proceeding words spoken
I aim for clean and cute
I hope for a second consideration

I don’t always object to being an object
But the object I don’t want to be
Is an object to be owned
An object chassing affection

In my old age, I’m tired of sexy
I’m frustrated by the expectation
I wish my body wasn’t a barter
I rebel againt “keeping it up”

I want to be a free range object
Living between “looking nice”
And “keeping a mate”
My style is for my pleasure

Attractive is relative
And personality effects perception
I hope to be disliked for what I say
Not for how I look.

2018-07-07

Poem, poetry
Every Voice Matters

We get so used to fighting the “them”
That we start to fight our “us”
We waste our time refining “us”
And lose the message to minutia

But it isn’t always about one voice
Or one consistent message
The details aren’t as important
As the thread that binds us

Our allies make us stronger
Teachers further our message
A chorus makes us louder
Division can only divide us

There is value in varied perspectives
The old voice brings wisdom
The young voice brings change
The dissenting voice brings reflection

A unexpected spark in one person
Grows to a slow burn in the many
Flames can come together as a wildfire
But won’t survive if they’re doused.

2018-07-01

Poem, poetry
Contrary

Oh little miss contrary
why do we have to compete
they’re just words on brittle lips
of minds that don’t seem to meet

I wish you would listen
to the words you speak aloud
and see how much they hurt me
when we’re standing in a crowd

you don’t have to agree
to give my words credit
I wish you’d wear some empathy
even just a little bit

it isn’t just what you mean
that matters when you speak
it’s what you leave inside of me
that brings the tears I leak

I put in you in the distance now
away from my gentle heart
your casual, cruel, contrary
can’t hurt if we’re apart.

2018-06-25

Poem, poetry
Little Pieces

Favorable dissection has been wrought on me
a delectable detection of my humanity
The thought was of respect and the truth of fury
but that has yet to give me reason to flee
I’ve done all this wonder before
the socialization I have to deplore
A gentle reminder of my spawned beginning
when that soft womb made me secure
He held me up into the light
burnt my hand with the burning bulb
told me of this lack of flight
this body does withhold
Bit me off a piece of knowledge
chewed it down to into bone
Look down at the rubbled mess
and pondered wherefore it had come
Wisdom should be something to relish
if logic would not interfere
but love has taken its rightful place
and given me something to fear.

2018-06-11

Poem, poetry
Try and fail

I don’t choose a world
of don’ts and can’ts
I live my world in try
and fail and try again
Sometimes I get success
I always get productive.

2018-04-06

Poem, poetry
To much for a man

If the trick to catch a man
Is to be thin and young and dumb
Then Im not sure there is a man
Im going to try and seek

Im not willing to be submissive
To court or keep a guy
Pleasure and companionship
Can be found other ways

Im fat and old and smart
I like food more than sex
No one will acuse me of being fun
Im at odds with keeping a mate

I wont spend my life
In a perpetual chase
I think I can live without
Yeah, Im better off on my own.

2018-03-23

feminist, Poem, poetry
Grief

Grief is an odd thing
like a slap in the face
it’s surprises and stings
and leaves a mark

It can come in waves
crashing over us
pulling us under
suffocating under the weight

Other times it’s a numbness
as if nothing has changed
but the colors are muted
The day a bit less bright

For a moment it isnt so bad
And then grief sneaks up on us
because it lives with us always
the visits just get less frequent

We go on in this incomplete world
A world that keeps moving
A new day that keeps dawning
We live with what it is.

2018-03-16

Poem, poetry
Happy path

I sometimes wonder
How they cannot see
That investing in anger
Is an act of futility

Anger does not return joy
Or make one better
Rage is the path
To a rancid bitter

Happy is hard
Its a choice of attitude
A habbit of seeking positive
Even when your not in the mood

I dont know whats easier
The happy or angry path
But i know the one ive chosen
And its not one of wrath.

2018-03-01

Poem, poetry
Circus

I never wanted to be a circus clown
to turn the world upside down
with a laugh and a lark

I always wanted them to see me for my mind
and to think about me anytime
when they heard my true voice

the world is more cruel than this
when it doesn’t give you beauties kiss
you watch the rest make headway
while you just wait and pray

is yearning the only kind of fever
that will lead me to the place of furvor
where I’ll find bright lights on my face

I don’t think it’s wrong to yearn for
a little recognition for what I make more
than all the other girls

I’m driven to the page
to write down my thoughts about me
even when the rest don’t care

I write wishing for a blank stare

My words are all I have, you see
to connect me to this world around me
I wish you could taste them half as much
as you discard them from your touch.

2018-02-25

Poem, poetry
Beautiful

Do I want to be beautiful?
is that a burden I desire
Some might say the answer is easy
that beauty is always preferred

If I have to choose which bigots
feign disgust for me
do I want to be mocked for my form
or restricted to a pedestal

for there are always bigots
always restrictions
beauty wouldn’t remove hardship
it would only change the burdens
I have to carry

I’m not ugly, per se,
I have a symmetrical face
fair skin, fair hair,
and sky colored eyes

but I’m large, a girth greater than most
my hair is unconventionally cut
my skin less than flawless
and, worst of all, my movement is stilted
I stumble ungracefully through life

Would I prefer to be thin
to look like a picture in a magazine
so that all the men flock to me
and the women envy

Could I deny myself food
and run myself ragged
spending hours primping
to grasp for that improbable goal?

So far the answer is no,
I do not choose conventional beauty
Instead I choose comfort,
and boast pridefully
of the other qualities
I have to offer

Perhaps it’s easier
not to be the prettiest girl
to hide behind my bulk
because this is the only way
I’ve ever known to be

2018-02-17

Poem, poetry
Living within my limits

What you consider lazy I live as survival
My body doesnt work like yours
If I work to hard I pay for it
Not in a metaphorical life ballance way
But in real life flemmy illness and pain
I dont get to book my day full
Unless I’m willing to crash many after
Took years to accept my limitations
Spent my youth acting physically normal
And then crying when my body rebelled
Wasnt until my thirties that I got a clue
When I finally accepted my limitations
Changed my attitude about my lack
I choose whats important to me
I’m independant and self supporting
I’m proudly working disabled
And, no, I dont have much else
I had to give up the dream of more
To truely appreciate what I have
Stopped focusing on whats missing
And, instead, focus on what I’ve got.

2018-02-14

disability, Poem, poetry
Rant of exaustion

My body punishes me for surviving
each morning of getting up
each week of going to work.

I’m tired of being tired.
And grounchy at being grumpy.
And worked up about being anxious.

Pain is not a plesant companion.
Discomfort is not desired.
Paranoia can piss off.

All I want is to sleep a couple days
so I can feel a little less extra
be a smidge closer to okay.

2018-02-03

disability, Poem, poetry
What is happy?

Is happiness content
Like a long slow walk
Or is it bubbling joy
Like a burst of pleasure
I have experienced both
But live with neither
I am unsettled and uneven
Like a well worn road
My discomfort is familiar
Even as it disatisies
I aim for content
Grasping moments of joy
And still dont understand
Exactly what happiness is.

2018-02-02

Poem, poetry
Kind Atheist

I am an unwavering atheist
No faith and no spritality in me
But I would never wish to remove
The innocent belief of another

How cruel a person I would be
To wish someone lose faith
Just so they don’t contradict
My strongly held worldview

I dont care how you find comfort
In this random and uncaring world
If it doent harm you or another
I encourage any peace you can keep

The only part of faith and belief
I can always disagree with
Is that which harms or shames
Or forces itself onto another

I am not an unkind person
Some even call me empathetic
My lack of belief and faith
Doesnt make me a less caring human.

2018-01-27

atheist, Poem, poetry
Painfully human

Being human hurts peoples feelings
When I treat you like I wanna be treated
Golden rule doen’t account for difference
When I treat you as you expect
Platinum rule doesnt teach difference
When I act without reflecting
I’m almost guarenteed to hurt another
There is no rule for just being ourselves
No rule that will stop unintentional hurt
So like a gentle bull in a china shop
I am myself but try not to harm
I know being me is right for me
But may not be what others need.

2018-01-12

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Change happens

Change isnt for the better
Its random and messy
It sneaks up on a person
Long time coming and suddenly here

Change isnt for the worst
Its personal evolution
Unexpected metamophisis
Waking up with a point-of-view

Change is rarely a choice
People dont change when they try
They change because life happens
Because you can’t escape growth

Change is a netural force
It is both big and small
You cant capture or avoid it
But you can learn to acept it.

2017-12-18

Poem, poetry
Boredom escapes me

I don’t understand boredom
Not as more than a fleeting concept
How can anyone miss
All the things to learn and try
There is a never-ending list
Pick a random unexplored topic
And I fall down a rabbit hole
The minutia can fill a lifetime
I don’t think I have enough life
To explore all subjects
So, I settle on fleeting passions
Topped off by well researched interests
But I still struggle to understand
How people find time for boredom.

2017-12-16

Poem, poetry
I choose my attitude

This body didn’t come with a return policy
I didn’t get to choose its defects
Neither did I choose my circumstances
In how I was raised or where I came from
This is the life I was given

I could lament the randomness
And spend my days bemoaning
Because my life is often not easy
Everyday is tainted by struggles
That don’t seem to be the norm

In one way I lucked out
Exposed to two versions of suffering
One who pained all those around her
Another who choose a better attitude
I got to learn there is a choice

I dont want to pass around my pain
And this isnt always an easy achievement
Sometimes discomfort makes me silent
But when I can, I choose plesant
I aim to be a brighter presence

There are things in life
I did not choose and cannot change
But my attitude is not one of those
I decide my small affect on this world
With a smile instead of a grimace.

2017-11-17

Poem, poetry
Same and different

Young people are assholes
Not on purpose, mind you
Their honesty is oblivious
They dont have years of experience
To explain others behavior
They blithely assume
That we are all the same
They are ignorant to difference
Until someone teaches them
That all snowflakes are frozen water
But each one has a unique design
And we humans live in that contrast
Each of us the same and different.

2017-11-17

Poem, poetry
Refuse the hunt

Men are predators
They hunt everyday
Sex is their game
And I dont wanna play

Boys are taught to dominate
Early in their youth
Girls romance about rescue
Despite its ugly truth

I dont blame their nature
But I expect them to be tame
We have a choice in behavior
Respect comes with refrain

I will not blame victims
I will not excuse perpatrators
But perhaps I will shame society
For raising boys into a rapers.

2017-11-14

feminist, Poem, poetry
My insides don't match your outsides

I’m told not to compare
Focus on the same, not different
But when I get close to someone
The stories they share are foreign
A world a part from where I live
Are their stories all lies?
Some partial truth hiding harsh reality
Or am I terminally unique?
So special that I really can’t relate
I know I’m not the only wierd ever
But I am wierder than most
I romantacize meeting my weird match
Another wierd that sounds familiar
The right amount of wierd, together.

2017-11-09

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Feminist stand

It seems silly
That a woman being strong
And speaking out for women
Is seen as confrontational
And taken as an offense

They treat our power as a challenge
Like they think we want to win
As if were trying to replace them
When in reality we want respect
We want to stand beside them

Maybe its fear of the difference
Because female strength is new
We can get the same things done
But we may not take the same path
We will not defer to the old way

The thing that irks me the most
Is I’m trying to understand them
Im trying to make it easier for them
Even as they throw shade
On my burgeoning power.

2017-09-03

feminist, Poem, poetry
Living Road

Faded black pavement
White stripes directing
Analog road to elsewhere
Flock of vehicles
Construction gets in the way
Making the drive longer
Trapped in my metal cage
Feeling tight with expectation
Someday I’ll get home
To the cool stillness.

2017-08-14

Poem, poetry
About being different

Some of us are outliers
We hear the voices around us
Telling stories of life
And those tales do not match
The world we live in

There is a kind of silence
A solitude in difference
As speaking our abnormal
Is shocking to be heard
Even when to us
Its comfortably familiar

Conforming doesnt comfort
It chafes againt our unique
We stand to one side
Just outside the crowd
Looking for another deviant
To bond with

Not all of us are normal
But all of us have value
A place within this world
Even if only to define
The norm of all the rest.

2017-08-14

Poem, poetry
You might hate me

I embody percived stigma
My health is not well
My choice is no children
My weight is not thin
My religion is lacking
My sexuality is fluid
You might be shocked
By my authentic self
But I am not ashamed
I reject the stigma
I dont internalize the norm
I accept me for who I am.

2017-07-29

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Large lady

I take up space
Fill a room with my presence
My arms and legs sprawled
Loud voice across the room
Wide hips staining my chair

I am a large woman
In size and confidence
I’m not afraid to speak up
I’m not afraid to be silent
I speak when I want to

It’s hard for me to understand
Being small or unseen
I am not a delicate flower
I’m a gaudy boquet
Big and bright and seen.

2017-07-21

fat, Poem, poetry
Ex

I miss the old you
The person you were before
He was kind and considerate
He wasn’t so angry

But I dont miss old me
Now I know what I want
I’m on a happy path
I dont want to go back

I know we both changed
Our paths diverged
We became different people
We are no longer a match

I will not let recent bad memories
Erase all the good ones
I wish the best for each of us
As we go into the future seperately.

2017-07-18

angst, love, Poem, poetry
Frantic whispers

The high pitched shuffle
Of voices repressed
Makes my ears twitch
Anxiety wonders
who is the subject
Of frantic whispers
The incomplete phrazes
Vaugely hinting at a topic
and the longer I overhear
I cant help but imagine
They’re somehow talking about me
When all I really know
Is they’re talking near me.

2017-07-09

anxiety, Poem, poetry
Viewpoints

I dated a blind guy once
He needed everything neat and orderly
So he could memorize where to go
I tried to keep things orderly
So he could get around
I was exausted trying to keep up
Mess is a symptom of my fatigue
He literally tripped over my disability
I learned that we can have the same label
But still have a very different experience.

2017-07-04

disability, Poem, poetry
Disposable girl

I grew up in a disposable world
With an expiration date
And better just around the bend
We’re all replaced, eventually

I wish there was a way
To love insensely, to love freely
Without feeling miserable
When that love isn’t returned

I was a sesitive kid
So it always confused me
When my friends got new friends
And stopped spending time with me

And as a teen I felt slighted
When I was adored one moment
Treated like a bright and shiney
And then ignored the next

As an adult I was estranged
Rejected by my own blood
Family told me I wasnt wanted
Left me to fend for myself

But the greatest betrayal
Was undoubtedly my spouse
The person who knew me best
Who eventually stopped loving me

I cannot claim innocence
As i have protected my heart
Refused those who are inconsistant
Rejected those who imply I’m less

My love can be intense and clingy
My honesty can scare away
But I refuse to pretend im someone else
Just to keep lonliness at bay.

2017-06-24

Poem, poetry
Not sexy

I am liberated from sexy
Too old and fat and proud
To be anyones objectification

So much easier to be a feminist
When men don’t acknowlede me
And women don’t think me competition

If all you see is my imperfect exterior
and you can’t get past my gender
Then I’ve escaped your attention

My desirability no longer defines me
I choose my brain and selfesteme
And therin lies my freedom.

2017-06-23

feminist, Poem, poetry
Art without audience

Why do I persist
When there is no audience
To drink up my performance

I put myself into words
A product of my narcisism
Weaving my reality into art

There is no money to be had
As my truth rings true
Only for the few

My name has no fame
As I fail the social game
Unable to sell myself

There is the possibility
That my art is apauling
And lacks the key to longevity

All thats left is myself
Flailing at the vast expanse
Creating for my own pleasure

Of course I desire an audience
But I compulsively persist in my art
Even when no one cares to see.

2017-05-30

Poem, poetry
More than sex

I’m tired of having my worth defined
By my performance as a sexual being
I rebel against the idea
That the value of my presence
Is intertwined with physical intimacy
I’m confounded that sexual satisfaction
Is the litmus test of a lasting relationship
Any sexually aware person knows that
Orgasms are cheap and easy to attain
And the fact that I’m sex positive
Doesnt mean I’m eager to provide service
I’m not interested in being hunter or prey
Or at keeping some faux mystery alive
If anything, my ability to satisfy myself
Means I’m lonely for non-sexual touch
I’m eager for comfort and familiarity
I want something more in a partner
Than a really good fuck.

2017-05-30

Poem, poetry, sex
What's wrong?

what’s wrong
with a little social science
a couple of words
to a psychiatrist

who’s to say
that empirical data
is faulty at the core
our impressions don’t matter

my words
mean more than just me
they can have meaning
without a PhD

so don’t throw
your doubt and dissention
as proof that my words
don’t deserve attention

if the game is to win
there’ll always be someone more right
if the point is to think
then you’re the loser
for trying to pick a fight.

2017-05-28

Poem, poetry
Unto this flame…

Percolating bodily orifices
striving to bring me down
into this frightening pit
flaming underground,

The sky might seem to sunny
as to stifle my arrogant need
what I’d give to see the sunlight
off this dark and dismal steed,
It draws me in the morning
and fills the afternoon
prolonging this evident torture
of a deathless, surreal, cartoon;

I am not the only sinner
to never deny my need
but could you please forgive me
so I may continue my deeds.

2017-05-28

Poem, poetry
Understanding

the ones that get it
are far and few between
but at least they are
exactly as they seem

the ones that try to get it
often fail in their attempt
and the wrongness in their trying
is only sometimes apparent

the ones that think their right
are a dime a dozen to find
and only a few of those
feign they’re broader of mind

then there are the righteous
that instruct on who is right
they irk the kindest of souls
and make us all want to fight

In the end I count on one hand
people near and dear to me
that see what I see
and accept who I be

Perhaps my luck in life
Is to have more than one
Who tells me being myself is right
and their judgement is wrong.

2017-05-28

Poem, poetry
Twirl ducts

Twirl ducts
sopped in water
as I may wander
in reminiscence

In a world of wonder
neurosis fodders this mind
and braids my consciousness
in complicated patterns

Has the thought
crossed your sky
that you were not safe
not a place I could cry

There’s value in reflection
but what isn’t real
disolves as transparent
under grasping hands

Awareness is brought.

2017-05-28

Poem, poetry
Sad little boys

sad little boys
with their pathetic insults
trying to make big of themselves
by making small of me

if only I were impressed
instead of amused
by their laughable attempts
to bruise my ego

I could respond
and give them power
or I can ignore
and remove their bluster

if only I was concerned
by small minds
and petty words
such that I was moved

but I’m not

instead, I’m tickled
by their persistence
and spurned on
by their stupidity

their insults
are my own words
do they not realize,
I beat them to the punch?

what they consider insult
I consider fact
what they accuse me of
I embrace with pride

I may cockblock their dogedness
as I’m moved to laughter
but I won’t feign to fart
at such pitiable overtures

sad little boys
so small and unimportant
I rouse them to anger
while they rouse me to laugh.

2017-05-28

authenticity, Poem, poetry
My hearts greatest irony

This is not about soot
for then the fire must have died
but instead about the wind
as it cools this overheated flame

The room was filled with smoke
before we noticed the blaze
and yet we piled the wood
onto its billowing wings

I would not contradict
its beauty throughout it’s ire
while still predicting the wish
to tame what I have named
The Fire

So please understand my wish
for one half is dark, coals and ashes
while the other retains its brightness
as it try’s to burn higher.

2017-05-28

love, Poem, poetry
maybe I do.

maybe I do think I’m better
that I deserve more
than casual relationships
with casual friends
that are casual with me

my feeling aren’t casual
they deserve due diligence and gentle care
I’m strong and tough and sure of myself
but when I let someone in
I let them past my armor
and leave myself defenseless
in their presence

the problem with vulnerability
is that it means someone can break you
a passing word or meaningless action
can pierce you to the core
and when people are casual
they don’t think to walk carefully
or make an effort to not break
the things around them

it always surprises me
how my friends can be so careful
with material possessions
but, at the same time,
how they can be so careless
with the people in their lives
that they profess love for

I want to know that my counterparts
will put in the work it takes
Any athlete knows that it takes work
to become great at something
and only when you’re great at that thing
does it start to look effortless
Is it so wrong of me
to think that my friends
should be that well versed
in the sport of friendship?

maybe I’m a weirdo
for thinking my friends
should be nicer to me
than they would be to a stranger

before now, I didn’t consider
what it meant when I was accused
of acting like I was “better than”
I cringed at the accusation
because I don’t think I deserve anymore
than everyone else in the world
I don’t put myself up high
on some sort of pedestal

I think everyone deserves
a friend that’ll put in the work
someone that won’t take them for granted
or assume they’ll be around
that’ll ask them what they think
and care about how they feel

and, if that means,
that everyone thinks
I consider myself I’m better than
then I’ll just feel sad
because they don’t get it
There’s something better to be had
and if you don’t grasp for it
you’ll be stuck with the suck
instead of bathing in greatness.

2017-05-28

authenticity, Poem, poetry