Elizebeth Turnquist

Stranger danger

Dear stranger
I wish you didn’t make me uncomfortable
And I wish I didn’t expect the worst
But instant excitement scares me
And your attention puts me at unease
At first my bold ways titlate
Often the idea of me seems to appeal
But as time passes I hear judgement
Those less than subtle hints
Criticim meant to be constructive
Suggesting I become more acceptable
That I’d be better off a little less special
But I am not the kind who tries to fit
I was raised to like myself
To embrace my authenticity
Your fleeting affection is no match
For my persistent sense of self
You can’t coerce me into normal
This is the curse of an iconoclast
More lonely in a crowd of strangers
Than sitting alone with myself.

2017-05-23

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Malleable memory

Memory is malleable by design
We remember things imagined
Wake up from realistic dreams
This is more than poetic
It is science fact

I am not trying to steal
The truth of things remembered
Because truth isn’t fact
We recall the the experience of then
Seen through the understanding of now

My mind wants to believe it’s constant
It can’t refute the influence of time
It can’t see the subtle changes in me
I know NOW like it was always
Caught rapt in the reality of today

My experience does not match yours
It’s a distorted window at best
Our very personal perceptions
Woven into a tapestry of experience
Sealed in an ever changing vault

So I try not to let the weight of time
Turn all my memories sour
If I must live with a malliable memory
Then I choose a gentler interpretation
A rose colored hue on my soft focus past.

2017-05-14

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Webble wobble

Inner ear ineffective
Unsteadily upright
Firmly flat feet
Waddle wobble walk
Balance broken
Grace goes gone
Dropping down
Suddenly sitting
Pause petulantly
Ready for repeat

2017-04-20

disability, Poem, poetry
What haves?

I didn’t have a picket fence
Or two parents
Or a childhood home
I knew love but not constancy

I did have a loving mother
And thirst for knowledge
And blanket acceptance
I was taught authenticity

The things that make me weird
Nearly balance my normal
I understand what I didn’t have
I rejoice in what I did.

2017-04-12

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Persistently plesant

Sure, nice people are fake
A momentary annoyance hidden
A fleeting judgement repressed
We make an effort to brighten the world
That doesn’t happen naturally

The world is a random place
Its easy to find harsh reality
Nice people defy that expectation
We know a smile is infectious
One good apple brightens the bunch

So, yeah, I am persistently pleasant
Like a sunny spot on cool grass
I don’t have to try hard
Because my nice is a habit
Something I’ve cultivated in myself

So I put a smile on
And I encourage the room
Because I like to live in a nice world
And if nice is bad because fake is bad
Then call me bad, but nicely please.

2017-04-07

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Eating the colors

Putting things in order
A little piece of peace
Candy colors in a row
Eat them by the number

OCD they tease
Observing my routine
as if playing with my food
says something about me

maybe I’m odd
making patterns from chaos
I agree I find comfort
In structure and design

Candies are gone
but I’ll do it again
lining up the colors
and eating the pattern

2017-04-04

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Supposing naught sin

She licked her lower lip
Like there was something to suppose
A question not so often asked
Of chubby girls or loose women
Is it contained between chaste thighs
The sweet innocence of always?
Can knowing what we know
be a woman’s wrath at redemption?
The confusion is not within
We know we are both, not other
A sin is only a sin when defined
A lover must be loved by another.

2017-04-04

feminist, Poem, poetry
Oh gender role

Oh men…
The strong ones subjugate
And the weak ones prostrate
And the lack of equanimity
Leaves me at a loss

Oh women…
The powerful ones manipulate
And the quiet ones regulate
We are our own enemy
In the game of equality

Oh me oh my…
At times I’m girly and silly
Or boyish and rough
Or womanly and gentile
Or manly and strong

Oh gender role…
The world is hard enough
Without your restrictive decree
My gender may be female
But my personality is made of me

2017-03-24

feminist, Poem, poetry
Foggy

Fluffy fog
Thick cotton air
Tastes like wet
Smells like cold
The world lacks depth
Eyes strain for distance
Romantic lens
Comedic pratfall

2017-03-23

Poem, poetry
Lazy brain

Dull thud
As the brain gives up
In a fit of lazy

It oozes down
Softly pooling as mushy grey
Undimpled ignorance

Its not natural
A lack of intellectual ciriosity
The synaptic silence

Inertia is inevitable
But comes more quickly
When unchallenged

2017-03-23

Poem, poetry, reflection
After the ever

She always knew she’d get married
but was unprepared to be divorced
The end came out of nowhere
After a slow road of decline

They felt superior to other couples
Like they shared a special secret
All their faults were somehow perfect
They were a match like no other

The dream felt permanent
When she was in the middle of it
She knew he loved her like no other
There was never a doubt of her in him

Until the day when he was different
When she felt alone in his presence
And the love she knew for certain
Was shadowed by heavy doubt

No girl dreams of divorce
No woman hopes to end up alone
None of us try to imagine
What comes after forever

The surprise was after the end
She didn’t enjoy being divorced
But she liked not not existing for him
Being for herself was enough.

2017-01-09

feminist, Poem, poetry
The lie of normal

I’m an ordinary girl
I tell myself
Just like any other girl
Everyone feels like they don’t belong
That’s what they say
The grand them of authority
The nameless dominance of normal
It all feels like a lie
A lie from them to calm me
A lie I’m supposed to tell myself
A lie my true self rejects
At least one thing is true
everyone around me
is too wrapped up in their own shit
to notice me losing mine.

2016-10-25

angst, authenticity, Poem, poetry
Fat acceptance

My fat is political
I dont restrict calories
I don’t talk dieting
I have no plans to change

If you think fat is a personality deficit
If you can’t get past appearance
If you are simply repulsed
Then my fat is a barrier

I won’t bond over self hate
I don’t buy into the shame
I refuse to fight my body
I’m not spending my life hungry

I deliberately defy convention
I eat in public
I wear cute outfits
I’m bright and smiling and fat

My body is a protest
My personality a gift
I accept my size
I love myself

I wish the same for you.

2016-06-24

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Born a blue baby

Struggling for breath
Flemmy even then
Used to wail to be fed
Mom’d serve me
Choke on my snot
Throw up what I ate
Mom cleaned me up
And I’m wailing again
Babies don’t choose
Breath or hunger.

2016-06-01

disability, Poem, poetry
Labels

Fat, sick, poor, slut
Accepting my nonstandard body
Living within physical limitations
Finding joy in simplicity
Embracing my female power

Happy with who I am.

2016-05-26

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Layover girl

I never wanted to be a layover girl
to fill a space in your bed
while you waited for her

She’s the one you want
that girl you haven’t met yet
the perfect ideal of a girl

you think me easy
that I’m eager to keep you company
while you’re waiting

but I want to be special
A girl above the rest
not a body to fill a space

I deserve more
Than to be here for your comfort
and to make you feel at ease

I’m not a tossed away thought
or a comic side story
for you to tell later

so I’m not gonna hold your hand
and be your inbetween
while you dream of the right one

because I’m somebody elses girl
Who want’s more than my layover
I just haven’t met them yet.

2016-04-21

love, Poem, poetry
Smile anyway

Most of us struggle
At some point
Trauma doesn’t discriminate
And life isn’t fair

There is worth
In being authentic
You have a right to feel
Especially when things suck

The question is
What do you hold onto?
Do you linger on the negative?
Or do you move on?

Its easy to choose bitter
Bad memories pile up
And effectively suffocate
The good ones

The hard choice
Is to choose happiness
To revisit the positive
And forget the bad luck

Some consider it fake
Forcing a smile
But I find the smile lingers
Even when I force it

A positive attitude
Won’t change reality
But it will change
How you feel

Life sucks,
Smile anyway.

2016-04-17

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Wo-MAN-liness

If only manly traits
Were sexy in a woman
I’m smart, funny, and confident
I have a job and I’m ambitious
I’d make a great husband

But, as a woman,
I’m perceived as bitchy
And pushy and weird
I’m not pretty enough
I’m not docile enough
I’m not an object of desire

The flip side?
Being unattractive
Means I’m not prey
Men don’t catcall
They don’t leer
They don’t stalk
At worst they ridicule

But I’m confident enough
That I don’t care
I’d rather be happy with me
Than try to be someone else.

2016-03-01

feminist, Poem, poetry
My subjective perception

It hurts when you question
My perception
While it’s true
You may know fact better
You can’t know what I feel
Or what I experience
Better than I
No one can dictate
My subjective perception
I own that
Just the same
As you know you

2016-02-28

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Brainfog

My memory is muddled
Like a dirty pond
My conciseness affected
Flirting with delirium

Better living through chemistry
Is my way to clarity
It doesn’t mean party drugs
Or avoiding my reality

I fight the dissociative
Cling to sharp moments
I can’t imagine
Trying to be muted

But this isn’t my choice
My body fights pain
By removing memory
The wipe isn’t selective

One moment naiveté like a newborn
The next wise from trauma
I don’t get to know what is lost
I don’t get to decide what is kept

Losing words and thoughts
Not remember the details
Sure makes harsh reality
look better than lost reality.

2016-02-26

disability, Poem, poetry
Correction

I’d rather know what’s true
That to stubornly act right
I never did understand
How admitting our mistakes
Is taken as weakness
Bravery is asking for more information
Confirming what you do or don’t know

I don’t live in black and white
Fact is proven theory
But theory can be disproved
Additional minutia can be discovered
A theory can be proven again

The details make a difference
My apple may be green
Your apple may be red
Were both talking about apples
And yet one is tart and the other sweet

If I take a beat
Admit to my limited scope
Review my assumptions
Ask about your apple
Maybe I could learn
Maybe we could communicate

If I still think you’re wrong
I can always build my case
Show the proof of my position
Or I could choose to back off
Because it’s not my responcibility
To make you right

Knowing what’s true often means
Admitting I’m could be wrong
And being open to learning right.

2016-02-23

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Accepting the difference

No once chooses their trauma
Or wants to be always set apart
The idea that rape is a lie
Or disability is a lie
Or inequality is a lie
Is a misunderstanding
A lack of exposure
A lack of experience
We disenfranchised
Are seen in extremes
Either saintly courage
Or sinful weakness
The extremes make us seperate
Place us outside the norm
Some of us wear our label proudly
To refute the silence
To refuse the loneliness
Despite a lack of reward
Making it known is judged harshly
When, in truth, attention seekers are rare
But are no less damaged
Because no one chooses their trauma
No one chooses to always feel apart

If we are lucky find self-acceptance
We find others who make us feel normal
We make the best of what we didn’t choose.

2016-02-22

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Finding happy

Money won’t make you happy
But poverty will make you miserable
Struggling to survive is the worst
But excess is too much
The median is where we do best

People can’t make you happy
But loneliness will tear you down
We are hard wired for companionship
And, yet, can feel lonely in a crowd
We need those deep connections

Priveledge can’t bring happiness
Any more than being disenfranchised
Most of us carry some burden
We can try to see what we have
and acknowledge what we dont.

The lesson I learn, everyday,
Is happiness isn’t a destination
It’s bright moments on the journey
We can adjust our attitude
We can embrace fleeting moments
We can choose to recognize our happy

The grass is greenest where we water it.

2016-02-22

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Anxious

Suspended above my wakeful brain
Invisible threads of dread
Playing my mind as a marionette
Spinning the worst-case scenario
My awareness is blithely unaware
Until I lay in bed, waiting for sleep
Then a play is put into production
It’s bright in the darkness
Loud in the silence
I regret what I don’t regret
I question what I’m sure of
I wish that I could go to sleep
Because the inconsistency is fleeting
A new morning brings a sharp mind
No longer muddled by rumination
Rest washes away the anxiety
Gives me a clean slate
If only night didn’t stand in the way
Of that clear new day.

2016-02-18

disability, Poem, poetry
Invisibility

I know you don’t understand
I’m not sure you ever will
This isn’t something you can teach
Because this isn’t teachable
I struggle even to explain
Your privaeledge is in the way
But i don’t hold that against you
No one wants this experience
No one chooses this reality
It is forced upon us unlucky
And there’s nothing fair about it
I’m sad my truth is in the way of us
I’m resigned to the distance it creates
But I’m also proud of myself
For being honest about my world
Even if that makes you uncomfortable.

2016-02-13

disability, Poem, poetry
Sad ending.

You won’t understand
Because you can’t
And it hurts my heart
To know it

The sacrifices
I make for myself
Are the least I expect
From a partner

Seems so small to me
This simple expectation
It’s hard to understand
How you could refute it

But I see it’s undoable
A reality unreal
You can’t even imagine
Not in your realm

So much hope
A future unsung
Seperate truths
A sad ending

I wish you the best
I morn my loss
As we move on
Forever apart.

2015-12-03

love, Poem, poetry
Convincing outliers

We remember the exception
Not the rule
Despite all the good things
And all the kind people
It’s the one asshole
That sticks in our memory.

2015-09-28

Poem, poetry, reflection
Mr. Yum

Oh, you fickle flirt
You made me feel good
With your sexy words
But only in passing

My teenage reaction
To your digital visage
Left me wanting more
I want to eat you up

But I guess I’m too bold
Scaring away the skittish
With my forward demand
To see you in person

In this shallow pond
You may be a catfish
A sexy illusion
But my hunger is real

I’m not up for the game
Virtual affection can’t satisfy
Must have my cake
And eat it too

I suppose that’s my purpose
If you’re not bold enough
To stand beside me
Then best you run now.

2015-09-14

Poem, poetry, sex
First moves

There is no pine in me
I do not wait around
For the move of another
I surge forward
And fail where I may

Yearning seems futile
Why not ask the question
True answers dont falter
And I’d rather stand alone
Than not be wanted

There is little tact in me
I corageously blunder
Blurt out my intent
Let the awkward sprout
See what will bloom

Often I am rejected
This is a game of many losses
One you can’t win unless you play
So I keep failing
So I keep trying

I won’t know the answer
Without asking the question
I fear the silence
More than rejection
So in ask

Do you want me?

.

2015-09-09

feminist, Poem, poetry, sex
Reality is sexy

Mystery doesn’t do it for me
Fantasy and role play are so banal
You know what’s really rare?
The vulnerable truth

I never did get grown up games
Why we put on a mask
To capture a mate
It’s such a fruitless pursuit

Reality seeps in eventually
And there’s always a loser
When the one you want
Isn’t the one you have

You know what gets me wet?
When my parter opens up
When they show what’s real
When I see their exposed belly

There are a million reason
Two people might not match
Why make it harder
With lies and obfuscation

So…I’m gonna be the real me
And keep sorting through the fakers
Hoping to find a sweet and real guy
who’ll share his warm vulnerable heart.

2015-08-28

Poem, poetry, sex
No one's punching bag

Words hurt
Like thinly sliced wounds
Like a punch to the gut
Like an unexpected slap

It may be surface
My analogies of pain
But words wounds linger
They are slow to heal

I don’t deserve those words
The subtle little stabs
The mean biting jabs
The outright ridicule

I didn’t enter into
A loving relatinship
For the mean spirited banter
Who would make that a goal?

I want the sweet words
The kind expression
The gentle forgiving
The abject understanding

I am no one’s punching bag
I refuse to launder your frustration
I will not accept your ridicule
It’s not my job to suffer you

If that’s too much to ask
I cometely understand
I can move on
You can go to hell.

2015-08-26

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Not normal love

Social discomfort
Mixed with arrousal
Uncertain and akward
Primal courtship begins

Blood rushes downward
Depriving the brain
Flushing nether regions
Urging action

Desire pushes foward
Indecisive movements
Animalistic urges
Push past anxiety

Bodies combined
There is no thought
There is no worry
There is only us

Naked and spent
Aware of the pleaure
Satisfaction derrived
From not normal love.

2015-08-09

love, Poem, poetry
What I deserve

I deserve to be loved
Publically and openly
I am no one’s secret
Refuse to be anyones shame

I deserve to be adored
Not because I’m the ideal
But because I openly adore
The people I love

I deserve to feel secure
To know I am not alone
Not to doubt I am wanted
Or to wonder where I stand

I dont deserve to be compared
To someone that came before
Or to an ideal that doesn’t exist
There is no one like me

Maybe I’m not perfect
Maybe we are not perfect
Maybe I want us to be happy
With our imperfect together

I deserve to be the one
Because I AM the one right now
There won’t be better
Until I’m gone.

2015-08-08

love, Poem, poetry
End of girlish fantasy

Girls are taught to yearn for a prince
A man to sweep us off our feet
To take us to their priveledged world

I overheard this priveledged man
Argue against government assistance
Argue that poverty is a personality deficit

I listened as he dismissed the poor
As his friends agreed on our lesser worth
I felt impotent in the reality of this prince

My girlish fantasies cracked
Shatter like a looking glass
Under the weight of his words

I’m of the impoverished masses
A pesant born and bred
And I refuse to be seen as lesser

My mundane troubles define me
I can’t imagine loving someone
That doesnt understand the same

And, let me not forget,
I’m a woman of feminist ideology
Who isnt looking to be rescued

Reality is a harsh mistress
It doesn’t alow us childish games
It took away my fantasy

Fuck the prince and his worldview
I don’t need shelter or rescue
…even if I idly miss the idea of it.

2015-07-31

feminist, Poem, poetry
Fucking like teenagers

Dry humping on my bed
Mom’s in the next room
This memory flashes
In a meeting at work

I fit around you like a glove
Tight and warm and eager
I’m desperate for your touch
At the most inappropriate times

We’re full grown
You might even say old
But I feel like a hormonal teen
The moment we’re alone

On my drive to work
I smile like the Cheshire cat
Images of the night before
Make me wet and squirm

Can’t wait to see you again
Your smell, your taste, your touch
They haunt me deliciously
I lust after my sexy boy

Distracting me at work
Inspiring me when we’re apart
You make me feel like a teenager
I can’t wait for the next episode.

2015-07-25

Poem, poetry, sex
Its okay not to like me

“You try so hard to be liked”
I’ve heard this before
A passing observation
Usually given without mallace
But with an undertone of judgement

Translation: “Stop carring what others think”
The funny thing is I don’t
I expect that people don’t like me
I’m a wierd girl in a nomalized world
I don’t have a problem with liking myself
But I’m realistic about others perception

From an early age I was loved
Mother reinforced my self-worth
I am priveledged with self-esteem
My self-love is close to narcissism
How is it that people don’t see that?

I think what they see is that I’m nice
They hear me passing love around
Because love is easy for me
I’m not looking for external self worth
I’m looking for external acceptance

Does this mean I care what others think?
Of course! Who doesnt! I’m curious.
Does this mean I will change for others?
Not for strangers. Not for aquaintaces.
But relationships require compromise

I care what the people I love think
I want to know they accept me
I don’t want to do things that hurt them
And I can change minor parts of myself
I’m open to conpromise and negotiation

I suppose some of what I do
Is try to give external self worth
Which is kinda silly, I know
I can’t make someone love themself
If you must judge, aim for this futility

Dont mistake me, I dont I like everyone
I’m choosy about who I share myself with
I don’t think everyone can be my friend
I don’t WANT that many friends
I just want the people I love to feel loved

I smile at at strangers so they’ll smile
But I don’t waste more than a smile
I consider my attention valuable
Investement of my true self is rare
I “try hard” with the ones I “truly love.”

2015-07-25

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Time shrinks scars

Some wounds stay with us
We carry them around
Covered by scar tissue
To show the battles survived

Sometimes those scars ache
Touch the skin near and we cry
Seems like we’ll never stop hurting
But time makes scars shrink
The pain is less intense
The longer we survive

Sometimes a loving touch
Can inflame the scar
Even worse than a bump or slap
But if we can push through the pain
If we can focus on the caress
Joy can speed our healing.

2015-07-22

authenticity, Poem, poetry
It either is or it isn't

If the feeling is there
You don’t have to wait
There is no learning
It either is or it isn’t

I’m nobody’s placeholder
I value myself too much
To cling to something that isn’t
Done there, been that

I will work on us
When the work is not alone
But I won’t adapt
when I’m the only one

You could be my king
I’d make you feel loved
Appreciate you everyday
If you’d do the same for me

One sided love
Is never gonna work
The song sings true
No more explination needed.

2015-07-21

love, Poem, poetry
Delirious

You’ve infected my brain
A sickness I court
I feel my tempature rise
A pleasurable delirium

Flashbacks of our intimacy
Strike me in mundane moments
Is this fantasy my reality?
Is this love my hallucination?

I care little of my condition
The symptoms become comfort
When we are apart
You are within me

Passing time
Awaiting my next exposure
There is no remission
I wish no cure.

2015-07-19

Poem, poetry, sex
Love crazy

A single point
Focus severe
Tension immense
Feelings so dear

Twisted up
urging release
Wanton abandon
Falling deep

Paralized
Sinking slowly
Still acceptance
Accepting defeat

This is love
I hate it.

2015-07-15

love, Poem, poetry
Aftershocks

You are on me
Lingering in me
A delectable ache
A muscle memory

Nerves echoing
Vibrating aftershock
The faults of my body
Still in a quake

My nose knows
Our skin infused
Your scent and mine
An aura lingering

The rich flavor of us
Desert of pleasure
The taste and texture
fresh in my mind

I feel addicted
Yearning for a fix
Your sex is my drug
I’m a junkie for you love.

2015-07-12

Poem, poetry, sex
Sexy boy…

I crave you
Soft cream of your skin
Against my eager fingertips
Rough prickle of your scruff
Tickling my tender skin
Gentle weight of your body
Hovering above mine
Firm seek of your cock
Traveling to my warm core
Suddenly you are everything
Thrusting, pounding, encompasing
There is only feel
Our sex is estatic

I am wet at the thought
And yearn for the reality
I crave you.

2015-07-08

Poem, poetry, sex
Nose don't knows

I do not smell
At least not well
My olfactory sense
Is impeded

My nose is inert
It doesn’t work
Unless the stink
Is quite pungent

It tickles and twitches
When the air is dusted
It drips dew drops
A trail of clear snot

I do not smell
This noses impaired
A failed organ
Sitten on my noggin.

2015-06-03

disability, Poem, poetry
Dr. Doctor

Bake me a man
A kind gentle soul
Who doesn’t depend
On what the rest know

Spin me a lady
A sweet gentle soul
That sees deep into me
Feels what I know

So much education
Priveledge of health
How they miss me
Blinded by themself

Dr. Doctor
Listens selectively
Sees only the obvious
Compartmentalizes neatly

Science knows what it knows
I don’t doubt the facts
But in practice science isn’t caring
only a person can do that

Maybe I need more than a doctor
Maybe I need someone to hear
Maybe I want someone to trust
To share this unhealth I bear.

2015-03-31

disability, Poem, poetry
Hysterical

Boys call us crazy
Men doubt our veracity
Doctors send us to therapy
Secretly, they think we lie

Ever evolving emotions
Taken as inconcistancy
We must not know ourselves
If our feelings can change

Ladies don’t challenge the norm
Don’t question the authority
They think they know us better
Than we know ourselves

So I don’t trust them
Because I trust myself
If this is my hysteria
I define it, I defy them.

2015-03-31

feminist, Poem, poetry
Want a Partner

I don’t need to be saved
I refuse to serve
If I had my way
I’d stand beside

Raised by women
I know feminine power
Didn’t realize the divide
Until I dated men

I am not a concubine
Or a doting mother
But I am feminine
A confident woman

We can save each other
We can take turns as slave
Let love reflect respect
Let man be equal with woman.

2015-03-23

feminist, love, Poem, poetry
Love makes me crazy

Sure, I have a type
Short busty brunet girls
Tall lanky blond boys
But the ones I want
don’t want me

Im not a pretty girl
I don’t excel socially
Not slutty enough
To have indiscriminate sex
Not moral enough
To bow down in submission

But, you know,
Attraction isn’t neccisary
For sex or companionship
You don’t have to be pretty
To feel comfort, to feel pleasure
You just need someone that cares

I dream of a comforting relationship
With someone I share interests
And can talk to freely

I dream of someone
Loving who I am
Not what they see

One sided love makes me crazy
Literally mentally unstable
I’d rather skip the crazy
And wish for peace instead

2015-01-10

Poem, poetry, sex
Trying not to engage

There is no win
No approval to be had
So often you’re wrong
Which you rarely admit

I think this is about you
You’re mad at yourself
And I’m just present
For your rampant disapproval

Why do I care?
You’re anger is so silly
So useless in its purpose
It’s not like it improves you

Except I am present
And aware of your ire
I feel it infect those around me
I feel it infect myself

The discomfort you spread
Is so fickle and unfair
I didn’t earn it
I don’t deserve it

I try not to engage
Duck my head once again
Make the best of things
Until I have other options.

2014-12-04

authenticity, Poem, poetry
Immasculative

It’s not my job to make you feel like a man
I’m not going to be less smart
Or make less money
Or hide my strength
So that you can feel superior

Submissive isn’t who I am
I don’t have sex to make you happy
I have sex for the orgasm
I’m looking for my fulfillment
For my my gratification
I’m selfish like a man

Happy spinster
With my electric vibrator
Not gonna be less of myself
Not gonna play a gender role
For the chance to hook a man
And his conditional love

I’d be so much more likely
To wanna put your dick in my mouth
If you adored my personality
If you loved all my flaws
If you let me be in control
And sex was about me.

2014-12-03

feminist, Poem, poetry
inertia

Inertia has me in its grip
So many things I could do
Yet none of them done

I wonder if I sleep all day
Will my longing run away
Or will I continue to hunger

Something has to be done
Removing myself from listless
Make of myself something useful

Give me a moment
And I’ll get up
I tell myself

Yeah…right.

2013-12-25

Poem, poetry, reflection